Productively crazy

I've written more than 35,000 words of fiction, which is a rewrite of a 45,000-word story I did last fall. I'm happy about my progress, but I'm becoming manically insane. I'm so obsessed with struggling through the story that I'm drained and over-emotional. It's not even a deep story, but trying to work through the protagonist's emotions and struggles with other characters makes my non-writing life imbalanced.

Yesterday I could barely write--I was so tired and drained, and even when I crossed the 35k mark, I was too wiped out to be happy. I'm fighting a battle where there might not be any victory (first with plot and character, then trying to get published). Also, because I'm trying to make my way in the very competitive radio scene, it's extra energy that I have to exert. So I'm constantly striving, all the time, trying to run the creative race with no guarantee of winning.

Bottom line: it's all exhilarating, but exhausting.

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