I "won" Nanowrimo yet again, for the sixth time!

Even though I said last year that I will never do Nanowrimo again, and I also said it the year before that, I did it yet again this year! If there were no pandemic, I wouldn't have done it, because I would have spent a lot of time commuting, working, and perhaps socializing (though my social life wasn't great anyway before the virus), but since we've had to stay at home so much and social distance, I had more time on my hands. So I figured I'd do it again. And I'm not as wiped out as previous years.

This year, for the first time, I joined writing sessions ("sprints") on Twitter, and they were really helpful. If I had more time, I would have edited what I was writing along the way, but since the daily word count had to be about 1700 words to reach the 50,000 by the end of November, it would have turned the couple of hours that I had free into several more.

In the past I had an idea and just wrote a bunch of pages about it, knowing that most of it wasn't salvageable. But this year, I took a character from the novel I finished and put him in the Nano draft as a love interest of the main character in this new book (he was a love interest in the previous book, and this takes place a few years later). You wouldn't have to read the first book to read this new one, but it would at least answer the question of what happened to him in the previous one.

And when I'm talking about "book," it's obviously got a long way to go, because during Nanowrimo I wrote a bunch of scenes that were really rough. I had the main character, had an idea of her journey, and other characters, and wrote a lot. But because I had to keep going, I would make notes along the way such as "check this" or "finish this." For instance, when the month ended and I thought about tech in the late 20th century, I realized that texting wasn't common. Flip phones had emerged, but even texting on flip phones didn't really happen until the early 21st century. So that's something I definitely have to fix in the rewrite. I also have to find out more about a south side neighborhood where some of the story takes place. I was in that neighborhood back then, but it was less developed than it is now, and the shiny police station there wasn't built until about 10 years after the time the book takes place. So there are a lot of "check this" in such sections because I don't totally remember when the transformation of that area took place (it was most likely seedy for the time period that I'm writing about, but I need to check just how run down it was).

Just as in previous years, I was so used to writing intensely that when December started, I still had a burning desire to keep writing. But then my real-world work responsibilities hit me like a wave, and I couldn't get the energy to write every day. But I have been writing often, by either reworking the Nano draft or writing in my fake blog, or here. Basically, I love writing and feel irritated if I go too long without creating something, because my life is basically about getting work done and not really generating that is unique to moi.

I just looked at what I wrote and it's still a mess. There are random scenes and holes. But the basics are there, and at least I understand who the central characters are, and the potential conflicts. What's cool, though, is that I discovered stuff as I kept writing, such as focusing on a ring or having the main character find something out about her mom that she didn't know, which in her world is quite a bombshell. I also figured out what her friend's issue is, which has made her bitter and rebellious, which also makes sense in the main character's world. So I'm on my way! But I have a lot to fix!


I have way more experience and skills than I sometimes let on, which reveals how people really are

I have a lot of work experience, and of course, I've made mistakes along the way (which I've learned from, so it's not all been in vain). I've also traveled to many countries, lived abroad, worked in all kinds of situations, been to all parts of Chicago, and have met hundreds of people. I am educated, with a bachelor's and master's degree, and have taken several classes in addition to that formal education. I also read books and articles in at least a few languages (for which I often use dictionaries), and write pretty consistently. In other words, I'm qualified to do a variety of jobs, and if I don't have such experience, I'm able to learn how to get a job done. I have good references, and even when I've wanted to drop a job, some people have convinced me to stay. Even if they don't explicitly say that they like having me on board, their responses have shown that they think I'm a valuable worker.

The reason why I'm saying all this is because sometimes I put myself in a situation that I am over-qualified for, and that is totally fine with me. I don't need to do high-level jobs, and I don't have to associate with people who have the education and experience I have. I actually like people and like learning in all kinds of situations, even if I know that I could do more. Yet I choose to not always go for the top. I started taking that approach several years ago, and I stuck with it because it's a good way to learn about people and to keep myself humble, because one day I'm going to "make it," and I want to keep it real; I don't want to forget where I came from and who helped me along the way, whether the person was in a privileged position or the lowest one. People's value does not come from what they do but who they are. I've met amazing, smart people who barely made it through high school, and have interacted with dim-witted jerks who have achieved everything our society values. 

If the virus had never happened, I'd still be working at one of the lowest-level jobs I've done in recent times. It was at a fitness center in a university, and the reason why I did it was because I spent many hours in front of a computer challenging my mind or meeting tight deadlines, and I wanted to do something mindless and more physical, where I would never sit. It was probably the least important job in the whole place, and I was one of only a few non-students doing it. When I first applied, I felt sort of weird about it because I'd been going there for a few years as a member, and I wondered if I was perhaps affecting my reputation or worth, whatever that means. But then I thought who cares, I'll do it. I had to do something that had nothing to do with computers or words or audio or pressure, and I liked going there, especially very early in the morning. I'd get there before the doors opened, write in my fake blog or work on my novel, and then I'd walk in and clean, organize weights, and give people towels. I thought it would just be for a couple months in the summer when a lot of the students were gone and the place needed extra help, but I stayed on for almost two years, until the virus closed places and limited our activities.

What was interesting was that while I first felt self-conscious because I was doing that job and a lot of the people coming in were academics or accomplished community members, I eventually didn't care and just did my job. I eventually met some of the regulars, and found out that some of them knew people I knew, and they were decent people. Most people had no idea what I did outside of that place, and I didn't feel judged or looked down-upon by most of them. I was impressed that before they even knew about my experience, etc., they were decent people who liked all kinds of people, and didn't elevate certain types above others. That's how it should be. 

One day, someone I'd often played tennis with at that center was surprised to see me working there, and I could almost seem them wincing. They're the type of person who associates with others like them, financially and culturally, and probably no one they knew would play tennis with a certain strata of people while having a job that included pushing loads of towels into an industrial washing machine. For a second I felt sort of ashamed, but then I thought hey, at least I'm doing something that takes me out of my Gold Coast existence. 

I think life is an adventure, and if we limit ourselves to what we "should" do, we're missing out on seeing how a lot of the world lives. But unfortunately, some people aren't so open or understanding.

My longstanding habit of doing jobs that are on different parts of the skillset/socially acceptable spectrum is not always understood or appreciated by others I work with. And it is when I experience such friction that I wish I would have explicitly told people what I have actually accomplished, and what I can do. While my bosses at the recreation center were absolutely fantastic (another reason why I didn't want to quit) and did not judge me on my desire to do something that is way below my ability level, other folks in other situations have maligned me and have treated me as "the help"--I have written about that when referring to broadcasters' attitudes, but it can apply anywhere, where higher level people treat lower level people with disdain. As I've stated before, I made the mistake of not talking about my writing experience at a gig I'd just started, which I'm pretty sure tarnished my reputation. I should have told the better paid, more senior worker exactly what I'd done, but because their question was laced with judgement and scorn, I chose not to reveal my qualifications, as if to not give them the satisfaction of knowing who I really was. 

And that's another habit I've developed over the years. Perhaps because I went through a lot of rejection and failure, I learned to not reveal much, then over-deliver or surprise people, or just not say much because there's no point in trying to "prove" myself. But when those people are not simpatico or are quick to judge and nitpick, then it can create a horrible experience to the point that I want to retreat. Sometimes if someone is being unreasonable, I will say that what I'm doing is not easy, and not a lot of people can do it as well as I can, or say that I have a lot of experience and don't want to be treated badly. A couple smart, self-aware people have apologized and changed their approach so that I wouldn't quit, but others have just plowed ahead and have been high maintenance and at times abusive. 

Being underestimated because I haven't boasted about my accomplishments and talents, in addition to not mentioning superior people whose admiration and endorsements I pretty much have for life, has backfired at times, because petty people have formed opinions that they feel justify substandard treatment. On some occasions, they've been dumbfounded to discover that I can actually do more than they assumed, and have actually changed. In one organization, some people pretty much ignored me until I did some presentations and they saw that I actually knew more than they'd assumed, and had done more varied jobs than they had, which helped my reputation. In another place, one person barely acknowledged me for a while until...I don't know what happened, but suddenly they were complimenting me and gave me a reference. In that case, my modesty paid off, but other times it has not, and I continue to be misunderstood and maligned, which really has made me wonder if some pursuits are worth it.

But thanks to those who've given me a chance, despite not knowing the extent of my experience, and even my real age (since many folks think I'm younger than I actually am).