tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79838282024-03-18T10:57:55.148-05:00MetrolinguaAuthor of WICKER PARK WISHES, a novel, published by Eckhartz Press "It's like 'Hi Fidelity' from a woman's perspective. A 90s book about relationships." - John Siuntres, WordBalloon. Language discussion and expression, a view from the city: "A fascinating and enlightening look at language and other important matters" - Rick Kogan, Chicago Tribune "...definitely an interesting voice!" - Languagehat.com
"...a great site!" - Mary Beard, Times Literary SupplementMargaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.comBlogger1453125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-5448020193372154512024-03-10T16:16:00.009-05:002024-03-17T09:34:25.710-05:00Getting more into Portuguese<p>After <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2024/02/i-finished-duolingo-japanese-course.html" target="_blank">I finished</a> the Japanese <a href="https://www.duolingo.com/" target="_blank">Duolingo</a> course, I decided to try to finish another course. Before trying to attain the Japanese goal, I'd been spending a lot of time on German, with other languages sprinkled in. But the satisfaction of finishing something I'd started caused me to look at the length of each of the courses I was taking, and they were either really long or extremely long. I think it's because the courses are aligned with the <a href="https://www.coe.int/en/web/common-european-framework-reference-languages/" target="_blank">Common European Framework of Reference for Languages</a>. Spanish and French look like they'll take forever, and German will take a long time as well. Italian seems better, but Portuguese seems more manageable. So I've decided to concentrate on that, and I'm having a great time.</p><p>My previous exposure to Portuguese was several years ago in some casual lessons and a couple of trips to Brazil. I also translated Portuguese into English for work and <a href="https://web.archive.org/web/20061108031715/http://www.metrolingua.com/kraftwerktranslation.html" target="_blank">for fun,</a> which didn't seem difficult after trying to tackle Japanese translation. So my Duolingo learning is pretty challenging, especially because it's hard to understand the audio. If I want to skip a unit, the vocabulary questions seem easy, but I don't always understand the dictation. So when I see the correct answer, I understand what's written and am pretty annoyed that I wasn't able to discern the words.</p><p>It's sort of messed up my Spanish, which wasn't that great anyway. Now I'm working in more Spanish environments, so I have to sometimes speak it and understand what people are saying to me. But sometimes I'll say a word that is correct in Portuguese but is wrong in Spanish, so my mind feels more scrambled. The other day I told some Spanish speakers that I've been doing more Portuguese in Duolingo than Spanish, and they were cool about it, but I was sort of frustrated that I'm attempting different languages but they're just mush in my mind. But I feel like my reading skills are still solid, so at least I have that going for me :) If people email me in Spanish I understand, and I understand articles pretty well, but listening is difficult and speaking is almost impossible at this point. </p><p>Because Duolingo can't be used alone to get a better grasp of a language, I've been looking at some old books on my shelf such as <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B089M41MLM" target="_blank">Essential Portuguese Grammar</a> and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Yourself-Portuguese-Complete-Course-Language-dp-0071603492/dp/0071603492/" target="_blank">Teach Yourself Portuguese,</a> which are written for English speakers, and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/BEM-VINDO-LINGUA-PORTUGUESA-MUNDO-COMUNICA%C3%87AO/dp/858076324X" target="_blank">Bem-Vindo,</a> which is more challenging because it's totally in Portuguese. They're all still useful even though they're from early in the century. I even have a Portuguese Bible that I bought years ago in Brazil. It's written in modern Portuguese, so it's not that hard to understand.</p><p>I'm planning on finishing the Portuguese course before the summer. And I would love to go to Portugal sometime because everyone says it's a fantastic country to visit, and some people say it's the best.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj37Y_omYtV_HANXnLPC3SOfhOBg5ce94t5FLsBQ-aVzHcyHCoz_piS6AkKWnswvtn7g6iKpMhlujoIXLaX9SfIw6xTFqsbK2RO7b43m8U3H_Q-RFAPVMwwFKFdJlQDqlm1vTfYAp7MfqNP69wCYq4h8LLmnkyLBT4XnArfQoyED9zsFpoLHyPOyA/s2300/IMG_20240312_160040.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Portuguese Duolingo" border="0" data-original-height="2300" data-original-width="1080" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj37Y_omYtV_HANXnLPC3SOfhOBg5ce94t5FLsBQ-aVzHcyHCoz_piS6AkKWnswvtn7g6iKpMhlujoIXLaX9SfIw6xTFqsbK2RO7b43m8U3H_Q-RFAPVMwwFKFdJlQDqlm1vTfYAp7MfqNP69wCYq4h8LLmnkyLBT4XnArfQoyED9zsFpoLHyPOyA/w188-h400/IMG_20240312_160040.png" width="188" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></div></div>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-29758468478549629032024-03-03T15:55:00.006-06:002024-03-17T09:34:52.704-05:00Do rich people have it better?<p>Welcome to the post I've been writing for a while, and rewriting, which I've been asking people and thinking about for a long time: is it better to be rich? My short answer is yes.</p><p>Commentators will point out unhappy rich people and say, "See? Money doesn't buy you happiness." True. You can find happiness in various ways, and according to <a href="https://archive.org/details/happyperson0000gree/page/n1/mode/2up" target="_blank">The Happy Person,</a> written 30 years ago by therapist Harold Greenwald (which I read a while ago and am now re-reading), people can choose to be happy in any situation. But I'm not talking about general happiness or attaining it. I'm talking about the idea put in front of us that rich people are unhappy so it doesn't matter if you're rich. </p><p>In the larger scheme of things, it doesn't matter. But it makes life easier, and I suspect rich people have better social lives and more social opportunities. One time I wanted to ask a rich person if being rich means a better social life. But before I could even finish the sentence, he said "yes." He didn't know that I was asking about socializing; he thought that I was asking if being rich is better. And to that question he also said "yes."</p><p>Think about it: if you want to go to Europe for the weekend, you can. If you want to join a club, you can. If you want to buy a better car, you can. You can give your kids what they need: a safe neighborhood, dynamic activities that will help them grow, a good education, clothing, nice parties, opportunities including valuable contacts for jobs, and more.</p><p>But the problem is when there's money but no love or warmth or authenticity. Then people feel lonely and unhappy and isolated. They can buy whatever they want and fly wherever they want, but it won't matter because they don't feel accepted and safe, and it's like living alone in a hardened, cold cave. But the commentators will take those examples and downplay wealth, as if everyone who has money feels that way. But that's not true.</p><p>I've met people who have a lot of money who never have to worry about paying their bills. It's only the irresponsible who squander it and end up broke. But those who are smart (and there are many) live within their means, even if it appears to be extravagant. For instance, a rich person can buy a large beach house outright, but they realize they can't have one on every gulf and ocean. So they stop at one. Or they can fly first class every time, but they know that buying a private plane is stretching it. To the rest of us, even an apartment on the Pacific is too expensive, so we have to settle for one in a concrete jungle. But rich people do have their limits, it's just that they're broader than ours. </p><p>And then there's the pursuit of money that can make people feel miserable. I'm not talking about people who need a job to get their basic needs and to get out of a shooting-filled neighborhood to be able to pay for a one-bedroom in a stable suburb. I've met people who are more than millionaires and they're neurotic and lack peace because they want what other rich people have and are envious. They work to acquire more but don't enjoy what they have nor what they can do with their money. But again, that's not every person I've met. There are lots of people who are living comfortably, paying for what their children need and want, and their concerns are academic because they have way more than they need.</p><p>I've met a lot of people who are just getting by and are stressed out, and understandably so. If they lose their job, they'll have to scramble to get another one to survive. If prices go up, they have to make decisions about what is most necessary. If their car breaks down, they have to be able to afford to get it fixed. When gas prices go up, they have to forfeit other necessities to be able to fill the tank. They want to be able to enjoy Christmas, nights out, weekends away, but they know they'll get into debt over it. Their lives are filled with decisions and sacrifices over basic needs and desires for luxuries that a rich person's pocket money can take care of with no problem.</p><p>Many years ago I met someone who made wise decisions and ended up pretty well off. She never had to worry about paying for anything, and she was able to pay people to help her as she got older. But she said some of her happiest days were when she and her husband were just starting out and they lived in a studio apartment, where she tutored students and her husband worked at a job that didn't pay a lot. She said life was so much simpler back then and she enjoyed it. I think she was just being nostalgic as she got older. Would she think the same way if she raised her kids in such a situation? She'd have a small space for her, her husband, and a few kids, enough money to pay the rent and some basic food but not much else, and a neighborhood with bad schools surrounded by decrepit buildings. They would've been stressed out and fighting about money, and complaining that they wanted their kids to be in better schools, have decent clothes and an infrastructure that had pathways to a brighter future. I was pretty young when I heard her talk about the good ol' days, and even back then I had my doubts. </p><p>Last month, I was hanging out with some people at someone's house, and we had a great time. One person said what we were doing was worth more than being able to fly to Europe for the weekend. There was no money required for what we were doing, and while it's great to be able to afford a spontaneous European getaway, the fun we had was priceless. And there are other experiences like that: having the opportunity to be yourself in a judgement-free safe space, having fun doing what you love, helping people live with dignity, or just helping people.</p><p>The big news recently is that a super-rich woman <a href="https://apnews.com/article/free-medical-school-tuition-ruth-gottesman-11eec429784776027161bcd1b6ea1905" target="_blank">gave a medical school a billion dollars</a> so students can study for free. Imagine being able to do that for people. I know there are wealthy people who don't donate anything to anybody, just enjoy buying houses, yachts, cars, planes, and whatever else they want, but they're rich enough to have that choice. </p><p>I know that money doesn't buy you happiness, but if someone is level-headed, that person can coast. Even professor<span style="font-family: inherit;"> <span style="background-color: white;">Michael Blanding</span> </span>confirms <a href="https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/more-proof-that-money-can-buy-happiness" target="_blank">More Proof That Money Can Buy Happiness (or a Life with Less Stress)</a>: less stress, greater control, and more satisfaction. </p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-20271411814913232692024-02-19T09:30:00.002-06:002024-03-17T09:35:14.204-05:00I finished the Duolingo Japanese course!<p>I decided to set a <a href="https://www.duolingo.com/" target="_blank">Duolingo</a> goal to finish the Japanese course this month, and I did it!</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn1qXYkOWa4ZDt3U3IC04i0xEZV4Va-696ng7Pka_DKbmabPMl6SKStpicN9vVxnyJPBLnVbU0G5KxMjhEkKk5VSRP_CWZi42lE2UacWrgyaSSutwhbbCCU7bWjpDilWYzbbfxnJKTBZL4Rsu3p8h-CErvTaG5WiLhspx_tKK8JAJ-dXkgYhVkBQ/s2300/duolingo-japanese-gold.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2300" data-original-width="1080" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgn1qXYkOWa4ZDt3U3IC04i0xEZV4Va-696ng7Pka_DKbmabPMl6SKStpicN9vVxnyJPBLnVbU0G5KxMjhEkKk5VSRP_CWZi42lE2UacWrgyaSSutwhbbCCU7bWjpDilWYzbbfxnJKTBZL4Rsu3p8h-CErvTaG5WiLhspx_tKK8JAJ-dXkgYhVkBQ/w300-h640/duolingo-japanese-gold.jpeg" width="300" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0Jt7KrREkgkXv0dtbIiD9BvBKrikIv1dMZo0I12Nen3tbwIuU96L3Ma2gaK9NcE2HxZy9cBBkyxHAZS6gGY_o-l4Mg6L_CSU8nCjzLag3O6sYvcMW950qmbea__bmBaiLyyK0AqbV7vFbhv__P1Qex_wvomyyvTnjLEEfO6ypTOpmgZ2rFr5gA/s2056/Duolingo%20Japanese%20levels%20done.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2056" data-original-width="1264" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU0Jt7KrREkgkXv0dtbIiD9BvBKrikIv1dMZo0I12Nen3tbwIuU96L3Ma2gaK9NcE2HxZy9cBBkyxHAZS6gGY_o-l4Mg6L_CSU8nCjzLag3O6sYvcMW950qmbea__bmBaiLyyK0AqbV7vFbhv__P1Qex_wvomyyvTnjLEEfO6ypTOpmgZ2rFr5gA/w394-h640/Duolingo%20Japanese%20levels%20done.png" width="394" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">At first I didn't know if I was really done because there was no celebration from the app. Usually they give you high-fives for things such as completing lessons or challenges, so I expected something like that. When I got to the end of the challenges, Section 6 turned gold and Duo appeared in the middle of the circle with pom-poms, and a trophy appeared. But the app didn't give me a separate message of congratulations nor put anything in the feed, which is something it usually does for other milestones. But since now everything is in "Review" mode, I'm assuming I'm done and can review as I want. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I still have German to tackle, followed by Spanish, Portuguese, French, and Italian, so I'm not done with the app. I'm going to continue studying Japanese in other contexts, and Duolingo definitely helped me improve my skills. It's a good app; you should use it to at least augment your language-learning pursuits.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></div>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-46442601344033418152024-01-21T16:12:00.001-06:002024-01-21T16:12:05.457-06:00I met someone who likes people<p>Five years ago <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2018/10/if-youre-in-people-business-like-people.html">I wrote</a> about a guy who's in the people business, who I assumed was helping people and speaking to groups of people because he liked people. But when I met him he was quite unfriendly and didn't want to talk to anyone. He had no problem talking on a screen or lecturing to a group, but after he was finished, he was squeamish and avoidant, which didn't match his public persona. So I concluded that he was a phony and was only pretending to be people-oriented to help him sell books and get a following online to appear to care about helping people. It was disappointing and a turn-off, and I regretted buying his books, and decided to no longer spend time looking at anything else of his online or engaging with his content in any way. So I concluded that people who are in the people business <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2018/10/if-youre-in-people-business-like-people.html">should actually like people.</a></p><p>Then a couple of years ago I wrote about <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2020/05/i-like-people-who-like-people.html">how I like people who like people</a>, and I still feel that way. I've worked with people who don't like people and they think it's weird and obtrusive if anyone tries to be friendly or tries to connect. I thought I was going to meet such a person recently because they said they're outgoing, but of course it turned out to be false, which made me think about this topic again. At this point, and especially since the pandemic is over, I really don't have time for posers or people who show fake enthusiasm only to cancel at the last minute because something better came along or they've decided I'm not as important as someone else. Why waste my time? But amazingly, around the same time, I met someone who is outgoing, works with people, actually likes people, and follows through. I was surprised that the person is authentic. Especially with social media, there are so many people who craft a public identity or act like they're accepting but are really selective and superficial.</p><p>I was eating breakfast in a hotel restaurant and saw someone doing an interview on his phone, and afterward I walked up to him and asked if he had just done a livestream. He said he was <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/engaging-virtual-meetings-podcast-with-john-chen/id1684336983" target="_blank">recording his podcast</a>, and we chatted about digital content and other things, then I gave him my contact info and returned to my table. Then he came to my table and asked if he can join us (my husband and me). Of course! Because we'd already gotten along, had already established a connection, sitting at our table was a logical and natural continuation of what had been previously established. There aren't many people who would do that, but it's no big deal for people who like people. We continued our conversation and talked about a lot more, then he went to a conference and I went elsewhere. He even invited us to go out that night with a group from the conference, but I thought I had plans, so I didn't go. But of course, the plans I had were cancelled at the last minute by someone who I thought would be people-oriented, so it was too late to go out with the seemingly fun group. It was one of those situations where I should've trusted my gut; sometimes I can tell if someone is going to follow through or not, but I ignored my instincts (and this has happened other times, and has even led to a Tonya Harding-type of situation, but I won't blog about that unless I become so rich I don't care anymore).</p><p>Since the guy was friendly, sincere, and interesting (and such a combination is rare), I texted him about breakfast the next morning. I didn't expect him to show up, but he did, which again seems rare in the 21st century (unless you're rich, famous, and/or powerful; then people will show up). We had another interesting conversation, and I told him I wanted to interview him for my livestream. I figured at this point he'd flake (because other people have agreed to interviews but then disappeared), but he didn't. At first, it looked like he wasn't going to show up because I heard nothing from him for half an hour. Then, just after I deleted the meeting and went to another room to watch TV, I got a text saying he was available to do the interview and was sorry for being late because he was with a client. So I reestablished the link and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yra9fEJl8Hs&t=2s">we did the interview</a> for more than an hour. So again, he followed through and he was the same kind of friendly, people-oriented, authentic person he'd been when I first met him.</p><p>So all of this is to say that I still like people who like people, and people who like people follow through and aren't fake or opportunistic, and communicate appropriately and respectfully. Hopefully I'll keep meeting such cool people as the year progresses.</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-91595265970583839192024-01-01T13:58:00.003-06:002024-03-17T09:36:49.511-05:002024 is going to be about language<p>As I said <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2023/10/ive-been-studying-languages-on-duolingo.html" target="_blank">previously</a>, I've been doing Duolingo and reached the 200-day milestone on the last day of 2023. When I was working a lot, my language learning was limited to Duolingo and foreign language accounts on Twitter/X. Now that I quit a job and did not have to work the holidays for the first time in several years, I've increased my language learning to at least a few hours a day, which includes <a href="https://www.easygerman.org/" target="_blank">Easy German</a>, Japanese shows (with English subtitles) <a href="https://www.nhk.or.jp/" target="_blank">on NHK</a>, Twitch chats, online articles, and textbooks from classes I took years ago. I definitely feel very motivated, and haven't felt this way in several years because I was chasing other dreams and goals. </p><p>I've also resumed studying Italian and Portuguese on Duolingo. I studied Italian several years ago and even <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2017/06/madrelingua-or-lingua-madre-italian.html" target="_blank">did a translation here</a>, but I didn't really care about it much until a few days ago when I went out with someone who was able to speak Italian with some tourists. I could sort of understand what they were saying but wanted to understand more, so later that night I practiced on Duolingo. I also added Portuguese because everyone who's been to Portugal says it's the best place to visit, and I recently talked to a few people who've been there and loved it. I was able to speak it several years ago when I went to Brazil, so I decided to try to unearth it in my brain. Duolingo only has Brazilian Portuguese but it's better than nothing. I still have no clue how to pronounce it, though I can read it okay.</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTUQDFZw0NyYjy7MvFONgxx5cqeNRuWP2D4H5_Otv4HhN-OotMqQXVfuQIPdKo2AJt5-QugxDtDR9x15aPDoZO1aE_ol7a0nwAnUeWPeIJ8n8QzFqvw68Oov9iRpFucHQFNKoAs9gs4fdSK-X0CcQGz0-sokN0Vu1a7tmOLjQCGZKk_-bdiWykuQ/s1000/duolingo200.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1000" height="381" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTUQDFZw0NyYjy7MvFONgxx5cqeNRuWP2D4H5_Otv4HhN-OotMqQXVfuQIPdKo2AJt5-QugxDtDR9x15aPDoZO1aE_ol7a0nwAnUeWPeIJ8n8QzFqvw68Oov9iRpFucHQFNKoAs9gs4fdSK-X0CcQGz0-sokN0Vu1a7tmOLjQCGZKk_-bdiWykuQ/w381-h381/duolingo200.jpeg" width="381" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></div>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-32208307279754533342023-10-29T13:48:00.002-05:002024-03-17T09:37:43.286-05:00I've been studying languages on Duolingo!<p>I joined Duolingo to learn Swedish 6 years ago but didn't continue because the lessons were silly. The sentences often featured animals doing weird things; they didn't make sense and weren't practical for traveling or trying to understand Swedish shows. It seemed like I had to get through a lot of nonsense to learn grammar and advance to useful content, but I didn't know how long it would take so I quit for a long time.</p><p>But in the summer my work situation changed, so I decided that since I'd neglected language-learning for so long, I got back on Duolingo to learn German, Japanese, French, and Spanish. At this point I need to learn German, and since it's sort of similar to Swedish, I'd get sort of confused, so I didn't resume Swedish (maybe the lessons have improved?).</p><p>I was able to skip a bunch of lessons in Japanese because I'd been studying it every day for a while on Twitter by following Japanese accounts, and <a href="https://www3.nhk.or.jp/nhkworld/en/learnjapanese/" target="_blank">via NHK</a> and shows that have English subtitles. I hadn't realized my Japanese was ok until I got on Duolingo and found the lessons to be pretty easy, even after taking a placement test. So I just kept jumping ahead by taking mini-tests until I landed where I am now, which is more challenging, yet still enjoyable.</p><p>I started quite low with French and Spanish, even though I've studied them before, and started really low with German. For a while I was doing all four languages every day, but I realized I was diluting the experience, so I do a couple or languages a day, or maybe just German more deeply per day.</p><p>It's actually really fun! And I think I'm learning a lot. I'm almost at a 140-day streak, and I'm really motivated. I try to study the languages in other contexts and look at my old textbooks for more grammar, syntax, and other structural explanations, and I want to keep doing more. My head is definitely fatigued by trying to learn all those languages, and sometimes I'm too tired to try to advance, but that's part of the brain-expanding, language-learning process. Anyone who's trying to get better in a language is going to feel the pressure, and hopefully from all this pain will come gain :) </p><p>What makes language-learning difficult is since I'm not surrounded by it, I have to motivate myself and find sources that will help me improve. In certain parts of the city I can hear Spanish and can practice speaking it, but the other languages are rare, so I have to go online or crack open a book. I'd rather hear humans speak it IRL because spending a lot of time in front of a screen is draining.</p><p>Anyway, I'm now back in the language-learning world, which was the original intention of this blog, though I'm not doing any translating. It seems like it's very hard to get decent pay for translating (I never made much before anyway) and machines are doing a lot of the work, so perhaps that door is closed.</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-12227747812929008512023-06-11T09:32:00.002-05:002024-03-17T09:38:48.447-05:00Sort of<p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was going to write a long post about how I've noticed that people have been using "sort of" in their speech more often, such as hearing in a discussion or panel, "Tell us what you think of your experience and how it sort of affected your views." It's like people want to be polite and evasive instead of speaking in a straightforward manner. </span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Then I found <a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/a-kind-of-sort-of-eulogy-for-the-declarative-sentence/" target="_blank">a thorough analysis</a> which includes the declaration, "<span style="color: #2c2823;">Using 'kind of/sort of' allows a speaker to moderate their statements and build in some vagueness and wiggle room. It’s a way to hedge one’s bets should someone take offense or question what’s been said."</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2c2823;">That makes sense. It's a kind of softening statement. I also hear it in corporate meetings, organizational discussions, etc. I'm not saying it should never be used, because I've also been in meetings where someone was arguing and falsely accusing people, offending people while getting a pass for their vitriolic expressions. I'd rather hear "sort of" than scorched-earth yelling, where the speaker does not acknowledge or respect others' humanity. </span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #2c2823;">But it is a trend, and <a href="https://www.artofmanliness.com/character/advice/a-kind-of-sort-of-eulogy-for-the-declarative-sentence/" target="_blank">the blog post</a> I discovered also exposed me to the <a href="https://books.google.com/ngrams/" target="_blank">Google Ngram Viewer,</a> which I had no idea existed, and which I'll start using from now on to see patterns of language use.</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #2c2823; font-family: inherit;">And btw--I started saying "like" a lot in the past decade because I don't always want to appear blunt. So if I'm saying something, I might slow down and add "like" to cushion my words and make me seem less assertive. I really shouldn't do that and should just be who I am, but I deal with different kinds of people so I sometimes attempt to soften my delivery. Which probably doesn't work anyway </span><span style="color: #2c2823;">because</span><span style="color: #2c2823; font-family: inherit;"> it doesn't sound too intelligent [n]or eloquent.</span></span></p><p><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #2c2823; font-family: inherit;"><i style="color: black; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></span></span></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-5687664718581412052023-05-06T13:38:00.004-05:002023-05-06T13:44:03.355-05:00Message in a bottle<p>Posting online is like a message in a bottle. We write something or post something to connect with the outside world. It's easy to write something for ourselves in a diary, or take pictures and keep them in our camera, or write down observations in a notebook. But when we do something online, we're reaching out by turning ourselves outwards, throwing something out there to see if anyone is passing by who might notice.</p><p>Years ago before social media proliferated digital, people wrote confessional, personal blogs. I used to do searches for a phrase and stumble upon someone's thoughts and struggles, and know that I wasn't alone when I had a more isolating work situation. I also "met" people online who were blogging and met some offline, and even put together the <a href="https://www.scribd.com/doc/16600192/Down-the-Block?secret_password=4ph1mvoxh57u9k5k76f" target="_blank">Down the Block</a> anthology to help expand independent creators' voices. </p><p>I don't think all the writers in the anthology (published 15 years ago) are very active online anymore. Some have become busy with their own work and offline lives so they don't care about posting online, and others have migrated to LinkedIn and social media outlets. </p><p>Social media is immediate, and I don't think people have the patience or interest to write something longer, hoping someone will read it. The ones who do commit to writing longer articles usually have a tangible goal, to become successful in monetizing their writing or integrating it into their profession; they want their blogs/online articles to serve a purpose, to get attention that will lead to something bigger. When we put something on social media, we can get quick feedback instead of waiting to see if anyone has noticed our blog post. If you're not famous or saying compelling things on sites such as <a href="https://substack.com/" target="_blank">Substack,</a> regular blogging is just throwing something out there, hoping someone will find the bottle that you threw out into the digital ocean. And on social media, when people don't get likes or comments or re-shares, they wonder if they're being heard and worry if they're connecting with friends and a larger audience. So the bottle they're throwing into the ocean is just floating, which makes some people feel anxious or rejected.</p><p>I'm probably being nostalgic, but I miss content that doesn't try to boast. I'm not saying there is no authenticity online, but it seems like various people are trying to get attention in their online (and app) posts via pictures, tweets or updates, and there's a kind of competition going on ("look at how much fun I'm having" "here's my outrageous opinion" "here's how you can maximize your click-throughs"). I've achieved what I've wanted via my online content, but I'm hardly any more popular than I was several years ago. I don't want to post to get attention, though it would be fantastic if someone higher up in the food chain would notice me, and <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/">the novel</a> that I'd put all of my energy into and tried to go as deep as I could within a character's thoughts and feelings took off.</p><p>Because I've seen the evolution of online content (and the Web just celebrated its <a href="https://www.npr.org/2023/04/30/1172276538/world-wide-web-internet-anniversary" target="_blank">30-year anniversary</a>), I've been able to compare how it used to be with how it is today. There are some feelings I have that people have disagreed with, especially young creatives who have grown up with digital. It's not that it's all bad, but it's sort of sad about how it's become transactional and a wall of highlights, as if people are shouting from a stage "look at me!". <a href="https://www.chicagotribune.com/opinion/commentary/ct-opinion-tiktok-social-media-performance-gen-z-20230428-27kqydafpjebto6jrskqemvkjq-story.html" target="_blank">A recent column</a> by college student Olivia Krupp effectively articulates what the current issues are with social media. </p><p>But the bottom line is that we can all create content instead of getting someone's permission to share our creations. The gates are open and it's not like it was for centuries, where only the privileged, well-connected, or chosen could express themselves publicly.</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>
<iframe class="scribd_iframe_embed" data-aspect-ratio="null" data-auto-height="true" frameborder="0" height="600" scrolling="no" src="https://www.scribd.com/embeds/16600192/content?start_page=1&view_mode=scroll&access_key=key-14bmt1inyeh547otldfs" tabindex="0" title="Down the Block" width="100%"></iframe><p style="-x-system-font: none; display: block; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: none; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal; margin: 12px auto 6px;"><a href="https://www.scribd.com/doc/16600192/Down-the-Block#from_embed" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="View Down the Block on Scribd">Down the Block</a> by <a href="https://www.scribd.com/user/325631/Margaret#from_embed" style="text-decoration: underline;" title="View Margaret's profile on Scribd">Margaret</a></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-50873189716853418402023-04-19T13:30:00.006-05:002023-05-06T13:43:42.712-05:00If you're in a bad situation, quit!<p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Chapter 3 of one of the best advice books I've ever read, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Survival-Guide-People-Treat/dp/1328695913" target="_blank">The Asshole Survival Guide,</a> begins with Robert Sutton saying, "I believe in quitting" and that's what I did. I wasn't going to consider myself part of the Great Resignation because I quit last year, but Greg Iacurci at CNBC says <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2023/02/01/why-2022-was-the-real-year-of-the-great-resignation.html" target="_blank">2022 was the "real year,"</a> so I'll take it.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">After the above paragraph, I wrote more than 1000 words about a series of bad work experiences that led me to resigning, but it was too specific and seemed too ranty. No one had read the draft, but a wise person said I should not post it, so I'm not.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Instead, I want to reiterate what I said a while ago <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2019/07/if-you-work-with-jerks-read-this-book.html" target="_blank">when I first read the book</a>: know how to identify a toxic place and, I'll add now, Get Out!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">My situation was a toxicity that I was tolerating, though I wasn't oblivious as I'd been in the past. Since I read that book, I've decided to never tolerate abuse and that approach has generally worked. But one way toxicity can be revealed is how an organization responds when a worker reports dysfunction. That's what Sutton's book explains. He says if people try to take action and nothing is achieved, then it's time to leave. Statements such as "that's how they are" or "they didn't mean it" or gaslighting the victim instead of taking action about the perpetrators are red flags. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">So here's my advice: if you feel horrible and have been treated badly, bullied, abused, anything less than respected, make a plan to get another job and leave. There are many examples of bad behavior at the <a href="https://www.askamanager.org/category/jerks" target="_blank">Ask a Manager blog.</a></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Here's another reason to leave: if you're not paid fairly. If a company pays other people well but comes up with excuses to pay you thousands of dollars less than your predecessor and inexperienced coworkers, find a job that pays better and quit. (And expert Allison Green says <a href="https://www.askamanager.org/2022/04/i-got-in-trouble-for-talking-to-my-coworker-about-how-much-money-i-make.html" target="_blank">it is totally legal</a> to find out what other people make.) If an organization does not require workers to show up nor do much work for much better pay, yet expects you to do more for much less money, then find better pay elsewhere and leave. Even just looking for other work will make you feel better. But it is not normal or fair for people to get paid well for not doing much, while you have to meet standards for thousands of dollars less. Don't rationalize it. It's not right. You are worth more. You are worth your experience. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Which reminds me of another reason to leave: if a company chooses people based on their age or other superficial features, and you see them get ahead or better pay based on what they're perceived to be instead of what they can actually do, find a place that values human beings if you feel like you're being overlooked or not as appreciated as the favored ones. It doesn't matter what you say or do; if they reward someone based on looks, there is nothing wrong with perceiving that as unfair, and if you don't want to work in a place with such values, then find a better place. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a;">Kim Parker</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a;"> and </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a;">Juliana Menasce Horowitz reported: <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2022/03/09/majority-of-workers-who-quit-a-job-in-2021-cite-low-pay-no-opportunities-for-advancement-feeling-disrespected/" target="_blank">research for the Pew Center</a> revealed "</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #2a2a2a;">low pay, a lack of opportunities for advancement and feeling disrespected at work are the top reasons why Americans quit their jobs" in 2021. Yup.</span></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">What really was the last straw for me was what <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Survival-Guide-People-Treat/dp/1328695913" target="_blank">The Asshole Survival Guide</a> details. At that moment, I thought "I'm going to quit," but waited a while until I would not be quitting in anger and would be prepared with another plan. I kept thinking about Sutton's explanation of why quitting is better than staying in a toxic situation, and how in the past I had not quit and regretted it because enduring the situation had only harmed me. And I feel fantastic. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Setting boundaries is powerful. Once I put in my notice, I felt like I'd built a concrete booth around me that no one could penetrate. I was asked to stay longer, then asked to be on call to answer questions for no pay, which just reinforced my correct decision. No regrets! I had a great experience but it was time to move on, and I immediately worked in much better situations with fair pay and no abusive/backstabbing treatment. </span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">One company I work for even has a system for dealing with abusive coworkers; there are specific people we can contact, and there is no tolerance for behavior that is detailed in </span></span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Asshole-Survival-Guide-People-Treat/dp/1328695913" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">The Asshole Survival Guide</a><span style="font-family: inherit;">.</span><span style="color: #2a2a2a; font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;"> </span></span></p><p>So my advice to you is, again, to find a better situation and quit. The pandemic gave us the opportunity to reflect on what's important. Don't waste any more time suffering fools or giving your best to an organization that doesn't appreciate it. Go where you're wanted and don't look back!</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-25807266125023187212023-01-11T12:10:00.004-06:002023-05-06T13:43:25.963-05:00Using Google Translate to report news<p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was reading an article in the Miami Herald about <a href="https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/world/article270969882.html" target="_blank">an ancient wishing well in Germany.</a> At the bottom of the article it said, "</span>Google Translate was used to translate the news release from The Bavarian State Office for Monument Protection." I was surprised to see that because I hadn't seen such a description before. </p><p>So I did a search and found <span style="font-family: inherit;">another Miami Herald article about <a href="https://www.miamiherald.com/news/nation-world/world/article271011797.html" target="_blank">ruins in China</a>, which states that "Google Translate and Baidu Translate were used to translate the news release." When I clicked on the <a href="https://www.kansascity.com/profile/260524702" target="_blank">journalist's name</a><span style="background-color: white;"><a href="https://www.kansascity.com/profile/260524702" target="_blank">,</a> it linked to The Kansas City Star and says that she works at <a href="https://www.mcclatchy.com/about/history" target="_blank">McClatchy,</a> which is a media company owned by <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/07/16/business/media/hedge-fund-chatham-mcclatchy-postmedia-newspapers.html" target="_blank">a hedge fund.</a> The ancient well story was there, but it was linked to The Star instead of the Miami Herald. From that bio page, </span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">I clicked on another story about <a href="https://www.kansascity.com/news/nation-world/world/article270869242.html" target="_blank">an ancient pantry</a> in Germany, and at the bottom it says, "</span></span>Google Translate was used to translate the news release from the Würzburg District Office."</p><p>I've used Google Translate in my free time to understand online content, but I've never used it for paid work. I don't know if this is an issue for journalism. For instance, did someone need to verify the translations? What if the translations are not accurate or don't want to be? Not only do online, AI, and machine translations need to be edited in the target language, but if they're being reported in a news outlet and by journalists, the information should be accurate. </p><p>At least the stories link to the original press release, so if anyone wants to look at the source, they can. I think this can speed up the reporting and content-creation process, but it should be done responsibly. I think it's really cool that we have such technology to connect with information around the world. When I started translating several years ago, it was time-consuming and there weren't a lot of online resources, so I had to buy some pretty hefty dictionaries. </p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-27270552635258522452022-12-11T09:35:00.001-06:002024-03-17T09:40:11.853-05:00Once Upon a Christmas Carol - an Audible Original<p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I just finished listening to the Audible original <a href="https://www.audible.com/pd/Once-Upon-a-Christmas-Carol-Audiobook/B0BL3ZV3LH" target="_blank">Once Upon a Christmas Carol</a> by Karen Schaler (who I did <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsxcAHfDcrk&t=7s" target="_blank">a three-hour livestream</a> with ["with whom I did a three-hour livestream" for the grammarians out there]), which will eventually become <a href="http://podcast.radiogirl.us" target="_blank">a podcast</a> (because it's taking a while to edit the audio of such a long interview). Karen's Audible original is honestly fantastic. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">My parents were from the generation that grew up with radio, and during the Golden Age of Radio, there were many dramatic shows that included skilled voice actors and sound effects (which were Foley since digital was decades away). And because my parents talked about retro radio, I often listened to old-time radio shows every week on Chicago radio stations (before the Internet existed). So it's interesting how radio/audio has come full circle. For years, radio had talk, music, and entertaining bits. Now that we have digital options, companies like Audible create dramas that sound way better than those mono AM shows of yore.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">There are many reasons why I like Karen's Audible original: it's total escapism because it's a positive, uplifting story that takes us to a small quaint town in Washington state, which is miles away from where I live. The story is excellent: she is a master of story structure! I wish I could write like that, and I aspire to make my own storytelling structures as tight as hers! There is romance, mystery, hope, adventure, friendships, warmth, professional insight, psychology, and more. The voice actors are convincing and sound authentic, to the point that I want to meet those characters and go to those places in real life. I also like how it ties to the Los Angeles, big-time music business scene, which is escapist for me as well because it shows me a part of the entertainment biz that I don't know about, and that in itself is fascinating. And it also shows the positive and negative aspects of social media and PR, crisis communications, and journalism. It's both practical and magical, and even asks the big question: <span style="background-color: white; color: #222222;">what would you do if you knew you couldn't fail?</span></span></p><p>If you want to get into the Christmas spirit and escape the monotony and drudgery of regular life, definitely listen to this Audible original, and listen the whole way through because it will all make sense and will be tied in a nice Christmas bow.</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-13052229091625759642022-11-21T09:18:00.001-06:002022-11-21T09:24:32.364-06:00Thankful to be employed<p>I'm one of those lucky people who was over-employed during the pandemic. I was working at least five gigs at the same time, and one part-time job that was 100% in-person went from a couple of days a week to more, at times several days in a row, because they had to limit the workers in the company. I also had a part-time job that became at-home a year before the pandemic because there was a shift from a W-2 situation (where I had to work in-person in an office) to a 1099 situation (freelance). So between those two part-time jobs, I was working essentially full time. I also was teaching online and in-person, and I did freelance digital work for a couple of companies. So at times I was working up to 80 hours a week, and I never dipped below 40. I can't believe I was able to do all that and never got sick or missed a day of work, nor miss deadlines or anything. I even filled in for other people who were sick. Now that I work a mere 50 hours a week, I look back at that time and am amazed I handled it all without even feeling stressed. I guess I really liked working to the max and was running on adrenaline. </p><p>Then last year, the almost impossible happened when <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2022/02/new-year-new-job.html" target="_blank">I got a full-time job.</a> I had been working at the same company part time for seven years, and sometimes filled in for someone who eventually left for another opportunity. After freelancing, working part-time jobs, and running my one-person business for several years, it was very weird to have to go into work every day at the same place. I thought the office politics and other drama would be a nightmare because I was tied to one place. But it's been wonderful. My coworkers and boss are fantastic, and I like the work. I've met new people and have had a great time. I feel a sense of satisfaction and peace and actually feel successful. I'm not financially successful, but I have zero issues, which is worth a lot. Everyone I have to directly interact with is responsive and responsible, and they're all really nice people. I have zero stress, no drama, nothing negative. I'm also totally in charge of my work flow; I don't have to work within someone else's framework, which is very satisfying. I didn't know that I'd totally enjoy being in control of my own work flow, but now that I've experienced it, I want to keep working in such a situation. It's very satisfying to decide how to do something, who to ask to do it, when to get it done, etc. I always get everything done early or on time, and because it's on me and I am able to accomplish it, it's even more rewarding. Also, my boss leaves me alone because he trusts me, and he also doesn't mind that I have a personality. I don't have to fake introversion to survive. And a nice bonus: I have a large office with a view. I often don't turn on the lights so that I can see the sun, and when it becomes dark, the city lights are my wallpaper. The whole situation is unbelievably great.</p><p>I've also been teaching, and because one school has consistently asked me to teach and the classes fill up pretty quickly, I can no longer teach at another school. I'm lucky that I was able to teach at both schools for a while. Now that I have a full-time job plus teach some classes, one school keeps asking me if I can teach a class over there; every semester they ask me, which means a lot because it's nice to be needed, but at this point I only have time for subbing. At the other school, I'm having a great time teaching because I really like the students, and my bosses there are supportive as well. So right now, I have the full-time job and the teaching, which still makes me over-employed but not at the level I was at earlier this year (the W-2-turned-1099 part-time job ended in the summer when my boss retired). And I don't work with any difficult people or jerks (and this is where I want to plug the excellent book <a href="https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/304760/the-asshole-survival-guide-by-sutton-robert/9780241299005" target="_blank">The Asshole Survival Guide,</a> which <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2019/07/if-you-work-with-jerks-read-this-book.html" target="_blank">everyone should read</a>).</p><p>I'm not talking about my work situation to be publicly fake. I'm seriously glad that I'm still employed because some people have lost their jobs or they've had a tough time during the pandemic. Because of all the negative news and the changing economy, I sometimes worry about what's going to happen. I hope I'll continue to work for the rest of my life because I have no plans on retiring; there's still a lot to do.</p><p><i>p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" target="_blank">e-book version</a> of my debut novel (I'm working on a second one) is still <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" target="_blank">at Amazon,</a> and the price for the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" target="_blank">print version</a> has been reduced: buy at the <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/wicker-park-wishes/" target="_blank">Eckhartz Press site.</a></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-59044129430723713062022-11-13T20:01:00.001-06:002022-11-14T09:18:20.387-06:00No worries<p>A lot of people are now saying "no worries." It's a trendy phrase that I wasn't going to comment on until I heard someone use it in the wrong way. </p><p>This is what happened: I made an appointment, which was cancelled a day before. I rescheduled the appointment and arrived a bit early. As I was waiting, the receptionist said that the person I was waiting for was going to be late, and asked if I could reschedule for three hours later. It wasn't the best situation, but I decided to go to the gym and get something to eat to make the delay worthwhile. I said okay, and the receptionist said "no worries." Let me break this down.</p><p>Receptionist: Sorry, she can't make it on time. Can you come back at 3:45?</p><p>Me: Okay. I'll see you later.</p><p>Receptionist: No worries.</p><p>Hmmm. Why would she say "no worries" if I'm the one who was inconvenienced? After all, this was the second cancellation from their end, so I should be saying "no worries." I didn't even say anything to prompt her to respond "no worries." I just said "okay."</p><p>But it didn't stop there. I was walking back to the place to go to my newly scheduled appointment, when my phone rang. It was half an hour before the appointment was supposed to start.</p><p>Receptionist: Sorry, she can't come in. Can you reschedule another day?</p><p>Me: What about tomorrow?</p><p>Receptionist: No, she's not available tomorrow either. She's not available until Wednesday.</p><p>Me: I work all day and night Wednesday, so I'm not free. </p><p>Receptionist: What about next weekend?</p><p>Me: Okay.</p><p>Receptionist: No worries.</p><p>Again, nothing I said would prompt her to respond "no worries." There were now three cancellations. The last cancellation was right before the rescheduled appointment, and there was no reason for me to be in that neighborhood; I'd gone there just for the appointment. This would be a more appropriate use of the phrase:</p><p>Receptionist: Sorry about all of the inconvenience.</p><p>Me: No worries.</p><p>But there was no apology from the business for me to respond to their flakiness with "no worries," though I don't use that phrase anyway. I think the receptionist has heard "no worries" so often in our culture that she's made it part of her own speaking style, but it's really supposed to replace "no problem," which I still use. Maybe the newer trend is to just say "no worries" independent of a context because it's become cool or something. Btw--it's a phrase that came from Australia, at least <a href="https://www.rd.com/article/no-worries/" target="_blank">according to Meghan Jones from Reader's Digest</a> (I inherited a subscription from my mother-in-law and still subscribe).</p><p>Now that "no worries" has saturated the speaking culture, I'm wondering if there's room for a new trend, such as saying "de nada."</p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-11346332506646232482022-08-29T09:33:00.007-05:002022-08-29T10:06:47.421-05:00I finally watched Red Oaks<p>Whenever I want to write about TV, I think about the disparaging comment I saw that someone made about this blog years ago, that they didn't see much language-oriented content. That's because I've had this blog for several years, and when I started it, I was editing and translating a few languages, so my work life was all about language, and I wanted to express my observations and love for it. But I was working at home alone so much, I started to have the TV on in the background, so I started to write about that and other things. Fast-forward several years, and we now have lots of streaming shows.</p><p>I've had access to, or have watched, various shows and pilots, and have even read scripts to see how the heck they write that way, because it's super-difficult. During the summer, I heard someone speak who was involved in <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3973820/" target="_blank">Red Oaks,</a> and people commented that the show was really good. So I immediately watched the pilot, and I was like, okay, what's this? It reminded me of a cheesy 80s movie. But then I realized that was the point. It wasn't mocking such movies nor was it satire, but it put us in that world and communicated a sincerity and warmth that wasn't portrayed in those movies. Then I watched all three seasons right away. What I consistently saw was that the writers/creators seemed to like people. I have no idea if they really do, but it felt that way because all the characters were grounded, even though some were silly or exaggerated. But there was a sincerity and warmth throughout the entire show that I really connected with, even though there were crude jokes and scenes a la obnoxious 80s movies. I'm not a fan of vulgar or explicit content, but I wasn't focusing on those aspects, just enjoyed the characters and stories that were in an era that I was familiar with.</p><p>I actually wrote a ton about this show in the original post, but decided not to go live with it because I realized that I'd written a thousand words just about the female characters (in a complimentary way). Now that I've set the post aside for a couple of weeks, I'm still thinking about the show, and I'm still thinking about the characters, even though since then I've watched other movies and shows, including <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt5580036/" target="_blank">I, Tonya</a> and <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt13659418/" target="_blank">Pam & Tommy,</a> because, while those biographical works have excellent acting and the non-Americans absolutely nailed the accents, <i>Red Oaks</i> is totally original and all the characters and storylines are great! </p><p>First of all, Paul Reiser is an incredible actor who absolutely mastered his character. The writers even skillfully put his background and motivation for wealth into conversations he had about his family and his desire to be successful. I have met such people, and Reiser makes it all seem authentic. His portrayal of an ambitious man is so spot-on, I'm not surprised that he's been such a success in Hollywood.</p><p>And I love his wife. Because this show is mainly a comedy, she seems like a caricature of the stereotypical wealthy husband's wife who maintains her beauty and enjoys the fruits of her husband's labor. But what makes her so enjoyable to watch is that she is strong and she loves him and cares about their daughter in the best way she can. It's also revealed that she was with her husband from their early struggles to their comfortable present. He loves her and she loves him, and honestly, I like seeing such relationships on shows. The writers seemed to make a wise choice to counteract greed and conspicuous consumption with love that we can clearly see. She's also blunt in a humorous way. She seems obnoxious but as the series continues, we see how she's multifaceted and strong. I have also met people like her and don't aspire to befriend such people, but her character was fascinating and fun to watch.</p><p>Their daughter is a character who looks and acts like a combination of Ally Sheedy and Molly Ringwald, which was a clever decision because the show takes place in the mid-1980s, and they were definitely popular during those years. She is like women I've known, whose rich parents support her and who likes to live on the wild side, different than her privileged upbringing. When I saw her go through her experiences on the screen, I kept thinking that she's a version of the kind of woman I wrote about. Because I'd met people like her, I wanted to capture such a character in fiction, but some people who read <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com" target="_blank">my book</a> didn't believe that someone like that could exist. But yes, there are wealthy young women who want to go off the track and party and date guys and live crazy lives because they've grown up with restrictions, and they can afford to take chances. Even though the character in <i>Red Oaks</i> is more subdued than mine, I was glad to see her included because her scenario wasn't far-fetched. </p><p>About the pretty women: this was another area where it seemed to me like the writers juxtaposed what we see and what we experience via their actions. Of course, every Hollywood creation is going to have attractive people. What bothers me is when they're objectified, a topic that has been written about for eons. But basically, when I see beautiful women on the screen and there isn't much depth, or when the guys are given more gravitas and the beautiful women are mere eye candy, I tune out. There are various examples of shows and movies created around guy characters where their female love interests are: 1) dumb/ditzy; 2) would realistically be unattainable because they're way more beautiful than the men, and the men might show boorish qualities and the women inexplicably ignore such negative traits and brainlessly go out with them; 3) there doesn't seem to be a productive role for them other than they're hot and that's it. </p><p>Kate Mulgrew infamously <a href="https://www.closerweekly.com/posts/kate-mulgrew-star-trek-151582/" target="_blank">criticized</a> the <i>Star Trek: Voyager</i> bosses for bringing Jeri Ryan to the show, and even though Seven of Nine was obviously very popular for how she looked, she was smart and had depth and an extreme seriousness that was humorous. Even though I saw through the show's creators' T-and-A tactics (which they also used in <i>Enterprise</i>, which I quickly bailed), I stayed with it because she's a good actor and her character was interesting.</p><p>And that's what the <i>Red Oaks</i> creators seemed to do; they included the beautiful people for typical Hollywood aesthetics but didn't seem to objectify them. The two beautiful women who worked at the country club were nice people and had feelings. They were people to me, not just some excuse to include perfect-looking people in a show to get ratings. The guys who were interested in them weren't the stereotypical pigs, but they still had obnoxious aspects, harkening back to those silly 80s teen movies. But again, the situation had depth and reminded us of what we'd been served before, but with a more earthy and heartfelt twist. I don't want to give away any details (because it seems like a lot of people haven't seen this show), but one of the seemingly loser guys who is interested in one of the perfect-looking women ends up being way more than we think he is.</p><p>What the pretty women decide throughout the series demonstrates that there is more to them than just a perfect body and pretty smile. The aerobics instructor is really sweet and positive, which is also consistent with some people I've met in the fitness world. And the lifeguard character is sincere about overcoming the struggles in her life, and we see that growth by the end of the series. I don't want to give away what happens, but it's great. Basically, we often see beautiful people get ahead in life even when they don't have skills or a pleasant personality, and they use their looks to gain access. We don't see that in this show. Yes, looking a certain way helps, but they work hard and have positive traits, which I don't always see in real life, especially in certain industries (and I could write a whole blog post just about that).</p><p>And since I'm into accents and this is, at the core, a language-related blog, I was very impressed with Craig Roberts' accent. His American accent is so good to the point that I had no idea that he came from Wales. Of course, he is a good actor and has a flatness about him that makes him a likable main character who is navigating the ridiculousness around him. One of my favorite quotes from the movie is when an older man at the club tells Roberts' character, "You know what we did back in my day to find ourselves? We killed Nazis." There are so many moments like that in the show, and combined with some performances of other talented actors, including Ennis Esmer, who aced his accent via his thoroughly entertaining character (he was the show-stealer), and the fantastic Richard Kind, who is totally believable as the father, it's a show that is rooted in authenticity rather than a clever concept or agenda.</p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-61479881395665820352022-08-08T15:04:00.004-05:002022-11-19T11:24:09.551-06:00Adopted in the last century<p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Sometimes I meet people who've been adopted, or who have adopted kids, and I tell them that my dad was also adopted. Because he was born in the 1920s, adoption wasn't openly discussed, so he didn't know about his origins until later. I've been binge-watching </span><a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3973820/" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">Red Oaks</a><span style="font-family: inherit;"> (which <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2022/08/i-finally-watched-red-oaks.html" target="_blank">I'll write about</a> once I finish Season 3), and in some respects, it reminds me of some of my family's experiences. One time I told my dad that I wanted to get a bling ring, and he gave me one that looks like an </span>ostentatious<span style="font-family: inherit;"> wedding band that a character wears in <i>Red Oaks</i>. The ring he gave me was made in the 1940s and wasn't meant to be a wedding band; it was a fancy men's ring, but and he didn't really like it. It looks sort of gaudy but it's fun, so I wear it. My dad wasn't tacky; he was highly educated, well-read, and dressed well, even when he was teaching in a public high school.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I was recently looking through my online files and found the eulogy that I wrote for his funeral. I'm posting it here because it expresses my gratitude for the people who helped him out, and to show how an adopted person from almost 100 years ago shared similar feelings to adopted people now.</span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Eulogy:</b><br /></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Recently I asked my dad when he was the happiest, and he said his childhood; he had a very good childhood, which was the beginning of his long, fulfilling life. What bothered him though, through his old age, was the fact that he had found out that he was adopted. He didn’t find out from his parents but from another kid, and from that point forward, while he continued to have a good life, he felt like the enjoyable world he thought he had was somehow artificial, not what he thought it really was. The family that his parents said he had--cousins, aunts, uncles (he was an only child)--were not *really* his family because they weren’t biologically linked to him. </span></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I kept telling him that he was very lucky to have been adopted by a supportive, stable, well-off family who gave him everything he wanted (except for a BB gun). It didn’t matter that they weren’t biologically connected to him; they *were* his family, the family that chose him and brought him into their lives. And he was taken care of in various ways; even during the Depression, when a lot of the country barely had anything to eat, he had his own bedroom in a nice neighborhood in Youngstown Ohio, played golf with his cousin, ate large meals with homemade desserts, rode his bicycle around the neighborhood...and after he moved to Canton he lived out the Depression and many of his adult years there in comfort. </span></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Fast forward to his old age, when I spent a lot of time with him due to his physical limitations and illness. It became clear to me, while he still spoke of what I call an existential perception of existence (as he described the fact that he was adopted, so he was essentially “alone” in the world), I noticed that there was a *larger* family that had adopted him. Of course, family members called him, visited him, took him out, and made sure he was okay. But the family extended from there; it was the family of society. </span></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Many people who had no familial ties were very good to him. Friends and neighbors took him out, offered to help him in any way needed, talked to him, and treated him with respect. And it even extended beyond that. Many people, including strangers, treated him well and encouraged him. On a number of occasions, people he did not know at all would walk up to him and help him get out of a chair or out of a car. A cashier at Jewel would hand him a tissue when his nose was runny. A waitress would give us free meals. A man who didn’t speak English would give him a thumbs up. A woman would step out of the way to make room for him and his walker, telling us that she understood since she, herself, helped elderly relatives. The incredible reaction of people around him helped him to not feel alone.</span></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">As he got older, he became a relaxed person who had a very good attitude and lived in the moment. He pretty much never worried. I think his positive attitude and pleasant demeanor opened up doors for him, and caused others to respond favorably. Thanks to all the people in his life (as is evidenced by all the people here), the excellent doctors, nurses, and non-medical staff at Evanston Hospital, Glenbrook Hospital, and the Kellogg Cancer Center, he was able to live--and die--in dignity. </span></span></p><p style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">His life serves as a reminder that even the little things we do can have a huge impact on another human being. I feel that this is important to remember as we see increasing evil in the world, because the good we do can offset the bad. </span></span></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-88602104190229750832022-07-18T09:26:00.002-05:002024-03-17T10:18:20.289-05:00Just because they got lucky doesn't mean you will too<p>I've been thinking about this for a long time. I think that when someone hits the jackpot in a difficult industry and gets lots of attention for their incredible success, other people think they can achieve the same thing. But it's way more difficult and impossible than the hype makes it seem.</p><p>For instance, there are successful authors who are interviewed on major national shows, get paid big bucks to speak at events, and who get their books optioned for movies. They are wealthy, successful, popular, and are never short of an interesting experience around the corner. They hang out with other successful, interesting people and they are fully participating in the culture to the level that they want. Other writers look at them and think that what the pros have achieved is attainable, so they hold on to that dream and plug away and talk about their own bright future, even though it's a total long shot. The same can be said about musical performers, influencers, national TV anchors, comedians, talk show hosts, artists, etc. People look at all those majorly successful people and think what they've achieved can be duplicated, but such success is very rare.</p><p>Back to the writing example: I recently met a couple of successful writers. One of them tried to get an agent and get published, but was having no luck. Then the cultural expectations and publishing business changed, so the door was open to them, and they got a good book deal, a loyal readership, marketing and publicity support from the publisher, and it seems like they can make a living from their writing. They were flown across the country and put up in a hotel (and maybe paid?) to speak to a group. </p><p>Contrast this with what usually happens, which is when a writer has to pay their own way for any kind of trip, and they're lucky if they're asked to speak anywhere. They're also really lucky if they get an agent's attention, because people usually have to pay to speak with an agent at a conference. For every writer who gets a book deal and publicity support from a publisher, there are thousands who are hoping for that chance but will realistically never get it.</p><p>Another writer I met broke through in a different way. They got a certain kind of education, got short pieces published, made important connections, got a book deal and then a movie deal. They've been reviewed and interviewed in prestigious outlets and have representation. Whenever a writer gets exposure, I'm sure many aspiring writers think they, too, can take that path and get the same results. But it doesn't happen that way and seems to be random. </p><p>Even writers who get published don't necessarily get the publicity support they need. They have to hit the pavement and do their own publicity, which ends up being a business in and of itself. So after they've spent a long time writing, they have to put forth extra energy to get attention and try to sell books, and they're very lucky if they manage to sell 1,000. People say that having to make back an advance is hard, but many writers don't even get an advance, so they're pretty much starting from scratch. Or they have to recoup the money they've spent on editors, etc. because they weren't successful or favored enough to have someone in the business provide the editing and other tools they need. Basically, when a writer has the backing of a publisher who is willing to pay them something up front, plus do their publicity, plus collaborate with them, that writer is really in a special group. But because such successful writers are interviewed and speak publicly about their journey, many people think it's possible to do the same, and there are companies making money off such dreams. </p><p>And again, I can apply these concepts to other areas, especially creative pursuits. We see the successful people being celebrated, but it will rarely happen for other people. They can express encouraging words for all the hopefuls out there, but the positivity is just messaging; it rarely gets realized. But someone I was talking to had a good point: people have to be ready for opportunities, so it's important to develop talents and skills in case a door opens. </p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-13021183204074492492022-06-08T23:31:00.003-05:002022-06-08T23:31:45.879-05:00Guest post: experience in 1970s downtown Chicago<p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I ended up getting a Letter to the Editor <a href="https://www.chicagotribune.com/opinion/letters/ct-letters-vp-060522-20220605-pf7ggl5ykrfbdjhbyyvlbtrdla-story.html" target="_blank">published in the Chicago Tribune</a> about how downtown Chicago isn't a scary place, and mentioned that the 1970s and 1980s were worse. Then </span>Marilyn Cosentino, a coworker from Daley College, sent me a link to <a href="https://raisedbylunatics.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-night-of-terror.html?m=1" target="_blank">a post she wrote</a> about an experience she had in downtown Chicago in the late 1970s. I am reposting it here instead of merely linking to it.</p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">The Night of Terror</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I <span style="background-color: white;">called the parental homestead to see how Sibling #6’s Special Olympics basketball tournament had gone. Father answered the phone; I never actually learned how the games had turned out. And despite having been at the basketball tournament with Sibling #6, the most mundane of topics can quickly become hot button social commentaries for Father. “Boy, have you been watching all the trouble in Egypt?” he asked. Then, without missing a beat as the two events are connected in ways perhaps only a lunatic would immediately comprehend, he added, “Do you remember the night of terror?” I laughed. Even though I wasn’t a participant, how could I ever forget the night of terror?</span></span></p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white;">Many years ago, my Irish Aunt was in town for a visit. She spent a few weeks with us before taking the Greyhound on an unmercifully long journey to the upper reaches of nowhere in western Canada to visit her daughter. Downtown, where the bus station was located, was little more than a cesspool. There was no Millennium Park, no flower boxes, and lots of criminal activity during the day, let alone at night.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">The Aunt’s bus to the middle of nowhere Canada was departing the Greyhound Station at around ten o’clock at night. While late 1970s downtown was shady at best, the Greyhound depot was Starsky and Hutch type stuff. Working security there one night, Father noticed a guy hanging around that looked an awful lot like one of the country’s ten most wanted at the time. The guy took off when he noticed Father giving him the eye, but eventually Father made the arrest. It turns out he was one of the guys on the wanted poster. Like I said, the bus station was real life Starksy and Hutch.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Anyway, as Mother didn’t drive, the job of getting the Aunt to the bus depot fell to Sibling #2. Along with the Aunt and Mother, Sibling #2 brought along the Boyfriend to provide some semblance of protection. It was one of those stiflingly hot summer nights where the air is so heavy and unmoving you feel like you just might suffocate so Sibling #2 had on the air condition in the old blue wagon on the drive downtown. Now, should she have known better? Of course, but the Boyfriend had some entitlement issues so I’ve no doubt the air was on for his sake and not for the sake of the Irish Aunt so completely unaccustomed to Chicago’s height of summer mugginess.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Everyone was a bit on edge to begin with, what with the heat and having to descend into the bowels of the city to bid the much loved Aunt adieu. So naturally, about a mile from the depot, the blue wagon caught on fire. (We refer to it as the blue wagon to distinguish it from its predecessor, the yellow wagon.) Turns out Sibling #2 really should have known better about use of the air conditioner. Thus began the night of terror.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">In a scene reminiscent of Scooby Doo, they decided to split up. Sibling #2 and the Boyfriend set out in search of Father who was on duty somewhere downtown, to let him know where his car, with its melted air conditioning belt, had been abandoned. Mother and the Aunt found a cab and took that to the bus station. After getting her sister on the Greyhound, Mother began walking back to State Street where she would catch a bus home. The problem, of course, is that Mother’s sense of direction is never particularly good. And when the underworld of derelicts that crawled the streets began to accost her and literally paw at her, she fled in a blind panic. I can just picture Mother, dressed in one of her signature paper thin t-shirts with the sleeves and neck cut-off and a pair of really short running shorts, streaking through downtown in absolute flight mode.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Turns out she was running in the right direction as she eventually ran right past Father, who was hanging out in a dark doorway. He called out to her as she sped past, but she was so terrified, his presence didn’t register even when he repeatedly called her by name. He gave chase and when he finally caught up with her, he had to grab her in order to get her to stop. When Father tells this story, his eyes crinkle up as he chuckles over his disbelief at seeing this familiar looking red-haired woman sprint past. We all have trouble catching our breath because we are laughing so hard as his eyes turn into two moons in imitation of Mother’s unseeing, terror-filled eyes. I’m sure the event probably left a deep, damaging gouge in Mother’s heart, but that doesn’t seem to detract from the event’s hilarity. And I’m not sure why Father was standing around in a dark doorway. In fact, it has never occurred to any of us to ask him about it. This is, after all, the man who would run home from work in subzero temperatures and shrug off our concern for the large black patches of frostbitten skin on his body by saying, “It’s nothing. Just dead meat.” Really, why wouldn’t he be hanging around in a dark doorway?</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Meanwhile, Sibling #2 and the Boyfriend had set off from where the car had died near State and Wacker. They walked south on State, with groups of undesirables literally circling them and making sucking noises and “come on, baby” type comments to Sibling #2 and threatening comments to the Boyfriend. Like Mother, Sibling #2 was fond of the little outfits. Therefore, she was also experienced with having sucking noises directed at her, but never by groups of people that would circle her while doing so. Eventually, they made it to the Burger King on State and Congress where Father sometimes hung out to protect the non-criminal element that unwittingly entered in search of sustenance. As he was lurking in a dark doorway at the time, they instead found a different police man at the Burger King who then radioed Father and told him where he could find his car.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">Sibling #2 and the Boyfriend then caught the #62 Archer Bus home. Father also put Mother on a #62 Archer bus and she, too, got home safely. The Aunt made it to Canada and then back home to Ireland, where she was able to regale her countrymen with her harrowing tale. As for Father, by the time he got off work much later that night, the car had cooled off sufficiently enough for him to drive it home, not quite the worse for wear.</span><br style="background-color: white;" /><br style="background-color: white;" /><span style="background-color: white;">And while I only wanted to find out about a basketball game, Father, ever the police man, used a favored lunatic parable, </span><i style="background-color: white;">The Night of Terror</i><span style="background-color: white;">, to reinforce the importance of serving and protecting. As Father discussed in great detail, whether it’s street protests in the Middle East or criminal gangs in Chicago, both are rooted in a fundamental break down in basic humanity due to our unfailing acceptance of intolerance and inequality coupled with a devastating lack of compassion for our fellow man. When burdened with all that, I could see how a basketball game might seem rather insignificant.</span></span>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-28869241378692042572022-04-03T09:28:00.002-05:002022-04-03T09:36:00.660-05:00I like people who like peopleA while ago, I was talking to a boss about how much work they have and how many fires they have to put out. They also have to deal with lots of different people in different jobs and departments, and it all adds up to complexity and what seems like a bunch of headaches. But the boss simply said, "I like people." And I believed it. I rarely hear people say that they like people, because I think a lot of people don't like people. They just tolerate them, or act friendly and then talk about them when they walk away. People are, of course, able to run their personal lives how they want, pretty much, but when it comes to work, it's important that managers like people. (ok, I just realized this is related to another blog post that I wrote: <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2018/10/if-youre-in-people-business-like-people.html" target="_blank">If you're in the people business, like people</a>)<div><br /></div><div>I've experienced managers who don't like people. They don't say it, but it's clear they don't. They want the position, money, and/or title, but they don't want to deal with people. They seem to want to work alone and avoid interaction, or they have little tolerance for questions or comments. They don't even like small talk. Why are these people working with people? They should make room for people fans who want a management position and who are willing to learn how to most effectively maximize their human interaction.<br />
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Outside of teaching, I haven't had to manage people, but I really like people. And I like working for people who like people, because they have a kind of appreciation of people's quirks, and aren't afraid to leave their office doors open, or walk around the place to see how folks are doing, or answer their phones and emails when there are problems. It's very important to have private time, and no one should have to work 24/7, but it's really great when someone takes the time to explain something or say hello instead of expecting people to work like robots devoid of emotion.<br />
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And it's not about avoiding confrontation and doing only what others want you to do in order to be liked. People who like people can have standards and give constructive criticism, and still like people even when they don't really reciprocate. It's really an appreciation of human beings and all the drama of life. Those are the kinds of people I like and enjoy working for; they know not everyone is perfect, and they appreciate diversity, not just in terms of ethnicity and background but viewpoints as well. People who like people don't mind if people disagree with them; they're fine with discussing something and will listen to someone else's varying opinions, because they know that the world is vast and not everyone is the same. Plus, they know that only knowing others who agree with them is limited; there's so much to explore, and they're not afraid to dive in.<br />
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Sometimes I meet people who explicitly state that they don't like people and don't want to deal with them. Other times people I encounter act in a way that reveals how repulsed they are by people, especially those they can't control or who don't match up exactly with their standards. We're not going to like everyone, but people should at least give others a chance, and give them a break when they mess up or aren't perfect. Some people are so petty that if someone doesn't look or act in a way that they want, they blackball them and make them feel small. Others simply shut people down; they can't stand small talk or attempts to connect (unless everyone is busy working or making a deadline, which is understandable) and cut off the conversation. All they want to do is function in their own space and don't want any kinds of interruptions to their own agenda. <br />
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Now that the social world is changing during this virus, the anti-people folks who have jobs or situations where they don't have to interact with people can thrive because they can just remain alone, and the new societal framework will support them. I want to say more about this topic, because this is really more of the work-related aspect of it, and in the general world, I really like people who like people, so maybe that deserves a post as well. But the bottom line is that when I get the chance to work with people who like people, it makes the work environment a lot more pleasant and less detached or cold.</div><div><br /></div><div><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">Amazon Kindle book</a> and print book at the Eckhartz Press site, <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">www.wickerparkwishes.com</a> </span></i></div>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-4140185762578999752022-02-13T09:21:00.004-06:002022-02-21T09:40:03.016-06:00New year, new job<p>I think I've already written four or five versions of this post because I feel like I'm over-sharing or being too detailed and personal. But this work-related milestone is worth noting because I started this blog when I was always working at home (before it was a trend or a social-distancing necessity) and needed an expressive outlet, and now I'm not working at home all the time anymore.</p><p>Okay, so after many rewrites and revisions is this: the bottom line is that I have gotten a full-time job after 30 years of not having one. I've only had one since becoming a post-college adult, and that wasn't even in the USA. I've been working for myself, then eventually as a one-person business (established in 2009), since the mid-90s.</p><p>Even though I have written the amount of years more than a few times in previous posts, I still feel uncomfortable about stating that because in some industries, there seems to be a bias against people who are older than 35 in the workplace. But don't worry, ageists; I'm technologically savvy, exercise regularly, have good references, a solid work ethic, and am adaptable. I wouldn't have gotten the full-time job or have been so busy, even during the pandemic, if I weren't capable. </p><p>I'm one of those people who has benefits that seem to make up for the pay. And I'm not being falsely modest about my deflated situation; I should get paid more for my experience and attention to detail, but let's just say the cash doesn't seem to be flowing that much, so I am still doing other jobs in addition to my full-time one. I always thought that if I took a full-time job, I'd quit freelancing and teaching, but I've spent too many years building up that equity to stop doing it. So right now, I'm simultaneously working in academia and in the non-academic world. I was even asked recently if I could teach yet another class, but I have no time left. I wish I could do it all, but I can't.</p><p>Even when the take-home pay doesn't seem like that much, having benefits seems like a luxury. For several years, if I didn't work, I didn't get paid. If I got sick, I didn't get paid. If I wasn't given a class to teach or wasn't given hours at a part-time job, I wouldn't get paid. Now I can take paid time off, can get sick, and can even take a personal day. I'm still getting used to it. Over the years, between all my gigs, I've called in sick only once in over a decade and have rarely gotten sick because I've figured out how to stay healthy. I'm not going to become a slacker, but at least I have that buffer now. </p><p>Before I took this full-time job, I was offered five full-time jobs, and I didn't have to apply for any of them; they asked me to work there after seeing what I could do. Even though the money was better, I didn't take them because I really liked working for myself and living on the edge, essentially. It was an adventure to stay in the game and stay sharp. But when this full-time job came up, I had a good feeling about it and applied. I had already done the job temporarily, so I knew what to expect in terms of responsibilities, but I was worried about office politics and mean girls/guys. I hadn't grown up with such people in my sphere, but now that I've encountered them in my adult life, they're enough to cause me to avoid the whole scene. I was also worried about going to the same place every day, sitting at the same desk, doing the same things. My days used to be complex and different; many times I'd wake up and forget where I was going. Now I know that eventually I have to go to that full-time commitment, even if I have to do one of my other jobs before that. </p><p>But so far, it hasn't been bad, though it took a month to get used to it. The first couple of days I closed my door and didn't talk to people because I couldn't believe I'd committed most of my hours to one place. I can't make appointments or go to the gym at random times during the day any more, so I have to do things after business hours or take a chunk of day to go to the doctor. I used to do freelance work, play tennis, then resume the work. I don't even know when I can play tennis again, or if I'll be able to meet people to play with who are at my mediocre level. I need to explain to people why I can no longer join their Zoom groups during the day, and if I want to meet up with people, or just talk on the phone, I have to do that on weekends or at night. My part-time schedule, where I had to show up at a physical location, was random, but I worked around it and it added to the thrill ride-type of existence. Now my days are solid. I feel more calm, but I can't let go of having to have a backup plan in case the situation dissolves.</p><p>I was just talking with someone who worked at other places full time, so they didn't have to adjust like I did to showing up five days a week. But we both agreed that because the environment is professional, the job is enjoyable. No drama like at other places. Plus, my boss is probably one of the best I've ever had, maybe the best. They allowed me to keep teaching, trust that I will put in the forty hours (which I do), and trust that I will meet the deadlines. They leave me alone to do what's needed, and their constructive feedback is polite. I'm never yelled at or demeaned, and I can discuss issues when needed, and work independently successfully. I also don't feel like I have to dumb-down my speaking style with them, end my sentences with question marks or vocal fry, or act like an airhead to get their attention. It is very hard to find good bosses and non-toxic workplaces, and here's where I highly recommend the <a href="https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/304760/the-asshole-survival-guide/9780241299005.html" target="_blank">Asshole Survival Guide,</a> which is a <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2019/07/if-you-work-with-jerks-read-this-book.html" target="_blank">must-read</a> for anyone who is working anywhere. </p><p>What I realized working full time is that I like to be in control of the process and work flow. Previously, I was in control of how I was shaping my work life, but I always had to follow what someone else wanted, and if I implemented it to their liking, I stayed employed. I couldn't really speak freely to suggest another way because the other person had already set a process that worked for them, or they basically didn't like people and didn't want to engage in unnecessary conversation. As long as I could effectively fake introversion and stay subservient, I was fine. I even had to be careful about what my emails contained; they could not include any personality. Now, even though I'm still working alone, which is what I've done for years, I don't have to fake bland introversion in emails as well as offline; I can add a smiley face, and it won't be held against me.</p><p>Now I'm the one in charge, and it's fantastic. No one works for me, but I'm still in charge of my occupational slot. I work with wonderful people who are conscientious, friendly, and deadline-oriented. I really appreciate them because I've worked with people who blow off work and don't care if other people have to pick up the slack, and others who mock the idea of having a work ethic. Since I can get work done on time or according to an optimal plan that I've created, people rarely bother me because the system I've set up goes smoothly. It's satisfying and seems nerdy because the accomplishment is in the details of implementation. Overall, I'm treated well, not nitpicked, and not perceived as weird, intense, or serious. At the end of the day, I essentially feel like I haven't worked. Because I have other gigs, I am tired, but I feel a lot more grounded and am really enjoying life.</p><p>I think one great characteristic of solopreneurs like moi is that we are used to being super-productive because the consequences of laziness or lying include losing hours, a class, a project, and our reputation. If we're jerks, people won't want to work with us. If we're high maintenance and can't learn things on our own or work independently, people won't want to keep us around. We are constantly being assessed because if we fail, we won't make money. So I should be able to be well-employed for the rest of my life because I bring a lot to the table. And as long as employers are open-minded to hiring Gen X'ers like moi who don't take anything for granted, I should be considered for future work as well.</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">Amazon Kindle book</a> and print book at the Eckhartz Press site, <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">www.wickerparkwishes.com</a> </span></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-56245348477825572282022-02-02T16:11:00.004-06:002022-02-04T10:01:38.125-06:00I finally took a vacation<p>I recently went to Southern California for a family event, and I made it into a mini-vacation that was very different than the life I live in Chicago. Even before the pandemic, I didn't travel much, so I wanted to be sure that the few days away would be enjoyable.</p><p>We (husband and I) had unused credit-card bonus points, so we decided to use them to get business-class plane tickets to LAX. It was easy to get through O'Hare because they were organized about checking documents, etc., and it wasn't as scary as I thought; most people were wearing masks, were polite, and were social distancing. There was no obnoxious behavior that I'd seen in viral stories about airports and airplanes. </p><p>When we got on the plane, we settled into our business-class seats. A flight attendant asked if I wanted champagne or water. The choice was clear: champagne of course. Everyone on the plane was great; again, no screaming passengers or people refusing to wear masks. Since it was early in the afternoon, I figured we'd get to California in time to see the beautiful sunset over the Pacific Ocean before joining the family later that night. But the plane just sat there. Then we heard an announcement saying that we had to wait until they made some repairs. No problem, got another champagne. Then they told us to get off the plane and wait for another one. I figured it wouldn't take long, but it took over six hours before we were on a fresh plane. So our vacation started out being stuck at the airport for seven hours. We got a free meal in the food court, but Day 1 of California was gone.</p><p>If you care about virus precautions in addition to good weather, beautiful scenery, and delicious food, Los Angeles County is the place for you. Most people at the airport wore masks, even at the car rental place, and I've heard the vaccination rate is more decent than other areas. Since we were traveling in January, there weren't a lot of tourists around, so the mindset of those around us seemed to be of people who were used to following public health measures. </p><p>By the time we got to Redondo Beach it was past midnight, and no one was outside. Since we rarely travel, we decided to make the trip more special by staying at a resort in a bay by the ocean. There were no ambulances or sirens that I usually hear in my neighborhood, just seals making noises on their lounging platform. I could see twinkling lights in the distant hills and smell the ocean, and I felt like I'd landed on another planet. </p><p>I only got a few hours sleep because we had to get to Rancho Palos Verdes in the morning, and I wanted to wake up early to enjoy what we'd missed the day before when we were stuck at O'Hare. Our room faced a small bay that opened up to the Pacific Ocean, and the seals were continuing their party on the platform, diving into the water as if they were also fluid. Birds kept their wings open as they glided onto the water, then turned in their wings to float neatly on top. I watched them whenever I could, and wanted to take a picture or video of their elegance, but I didn't. I decided to enjoy the animals and the sea in the moment to keep that feeling with me, because I knew I'd leave that planet and would want to retain its sparkle with no barriers.</p><p>Stand-up paddle boards, sailboats, and motor boats passed by, including the fire department and other water authorities. Even though I never took any pictures, I will never forget what I saw because it was so different than what I experience every day. I saw large, beautiful homes in the hills of RPV and neatly cultivated and grown flora in the area. The plants and flowers are different from the Midwest, adding to that otherwordly experience.</p><p>It was hard to leave all that nature behind to go to the City of Los Angeles. After we dropped off the rental car at LAX, we had to get a bus to Union Station to take the Amtrak sleeper back to Chicago. Even though I love cities, especially downtown areas, I wasn't expecting much from downtown LA because I'd been there before, and it seemed to be gritty desolation. Once I got there, though, I was pleasantly surprised. The <a href="https://unionstationla.com/history" target="_blank">Union Station building</a> is incredible. I live in a fantastic architectural city, but there are no buildings like that one. In the front are beautiful flowers and trees, and it's located in the old part of town, pretty much where the city began. </p><p>And the area was lively. There was Mexican music in the historic area across the street <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Pueblo_de_Los_%C3%81ngeles_Historical_Monument" target="_blank">(El Pueblo de Los Ángeles Historical Monument)</a>, and because our train wasn't leaving for a couple of hours, we walked over. Several people were dancing and listening to the music, and there were stalls selling handmade items and jewelry. I bought a colorful purse that I will definitely use once the weather in Chicago becomes warmer. The atmosphere was lively, and the historical buildings were well-preserved, which added to the quaintness of the square. The weather was perfect and I had a great time, especially because I didn't expect all that festive activity and cheerfulness.</p><p>Then we rode the Southwest Chief for a couple of days until we arrived at Union Station in Chicago. The pandemic had affected Amtrak staff and travelers, so the train was smaller than usual (I'd taken it a few times before) and there weren't as many people, so social distancing was possible (and most people were wearing masks). On the way to LA, Arizona is featured more during the day, but on the opposite trip the train goes through a lot of Arizona at night, so we ended up seeing more of New Mexico during the day. Both Arizona and New Mexico have awesome, in the true sense of the word, red rock formations that look like supernatural sculptures, making the desert look like a planet related to Mars. All the nature that I saw from the train was humbling. And a positive aspect of winter is that I could see more beauty beyond the leafless trees, whether in Colorado or Kansas. When I've taken the train in non-winter months, all I've seen was green and flatness in the Great Plains. But winter adds another dimension, and the snow that I usually see in patches in my area creates a borderless blanket in the countryside.</p><p>I got back a couple of weeks ago, but I'm still thinking about my vacation out West. It was probably one of the best trips I've taken in recent years. I was tempted to take pictures or videos, but I decided to totally live in the present in every moment, being a participant or real-time observer rather than removing myself to try to capture what is best seen as-is.</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">Amazon Kindle book</a> and print book at the Eckhartz Press site, <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">www.wickerparkwishes.com</a></span></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-40133511695844543072022-01-24T09:21:00.002-06:002022-01-30T09:05:11.859-06:00I wish I understood this Timo Torikka interview<p>I saw <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timo_Torikka" target="_blank">Timo Torikka</a> in a couple of episodes of one of my favorite shows, <a href="https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0167644/" target="_blank">Maigret</a> (the French version with Bruno Crémer), and I kept wondering how he learned to speak such fluent French even though he's from Finland. I found an article in French that is now gone, so I did another search and found a French interview with him about <a href="http://www.france.fi/en/culture/rendez-vous-francophone-avec-timo-torikka/" target="_blank">"his life, his career, and his relationship with France"</a> ("sa vie, de sa carrière et de sa relation avec la France"). I was excited to read it because I would finally find out about him, and if I didn't understand some words, I could easily look them up. </p><p>But then I saw that it's a video interview, and the whole point of it is exactly what I want to know: "Comment Timo Torikka a-t-il fini par jouer en français et en France?" If I knew French well enough, I'd know by now because I would've watched the video and skipped to the parts that answer my questions! </p><p>But now I have to figure out what they're saying. My French is horrible even though I studied it and translated it into English for more than a few years, but it's easier to read than speaking or listening, and if I don't understand what I read, I can look up the words online or in a dictionary. </p><p>I turned on the video's CC which are French words generated by YouTube to attempt to transcribe the dialog, so I can understand it ok, though it's not precise. But the bottom line is it's difficult to understand what they're saying. Frustrating!</p><p>I'm sure if I ever go to France, or even Montreal, my French will improve because I will hear it all around me and will try to speak it. We have to use different parts of the brain for different language functions, and the speaking part of my brain is underdeveloped. I have the same issue in Spanish, though I have no excuse for not trying to speak because there are many areas of Chicago where I can speak to people from Latin America. I rarely see or hear French people in Chicago. But especially during this pandemic time, I should make more of an effort to improve those language skills. <i>Bon chance to moi.</i></p>
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/rbHHr3HFBBI" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe><div><br /></div><div><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">Amazon Kindle book</a> and print book at the Eckhartz Press site, <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">www.wickerparkwishes.com</a></span></i></div>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-22297471118763022802021-11-21T09:27:00.003-06:002021-11-21T14:27:35.525-06:00Getting the booster <p>I would've written this earlier, but I wrote other blog posts that I haven't posted yet because they might be too personal. I showed one to a friend, and she said it was fine, but I still am not sure. But I want to describe my experience with the Moderna Booster shot because it wiped me out, <a href="http://blog.metrolingua.com/2021/04/my-experience-with-covid-19-vaccine.html" target="_blank">as the second shot did.</a></p><p>I got the booster on Halloween, when availability was still limited to people over 65 and those with immunity issues, because I teach a few classes in-person, and education workers were amended to those earlier lists. I also live and work in one of the most populated areas of Chicago, and have been an Essential Worker throughout the entire pandemic, so I was pretty worried about the virus and wanted the booster for extra protection. </p><p>I was incredibly happy to qualify, and figured I wouldn't experience many side-effects because it's less potent than the regular vaccine. But a couple hours after I got it, I started to feel lightheaded. I thought that would be it; I was lightheaded and spacey for a few days after my first shot, so I thought it would be similar. But then I started slowly feeling really horrible. I had a pounding headache, nausea, and I felt like I had the flu, without the fever, because my body felt heavy and I could barely move. I was horizontal for several hours and I felt like I had the stomach flu. I couldn't eat and felt so nauseated, I couldn't sleep. But I was exhausted and I felt like I couldn't think straight because I was trying not to get sick and my head was pounding. </p><p>I lay down all day and night, and I was going to skip work on Monday because I was so wiped out. I'd already learned my lesson after the second shot: it's very hard to work when you're not eating, feel very nauseated, and feel like the earth is trying to pull you down to get you horizontal again. But I had a few things to get done at work, so I lay down as late as a I could, scraped myself off the floor (or couch; I don't remember because I was moving between my bed, couch, and floor), and got to the office. I got the work done, immediately went home, and lay down again. Thanks to the flu shot, I haven't had the flu in several years, but this felt like it; my body felt very heavy and I felt very tired, and I really thought I wouldn't make it.</p><p>After several hours of off-and-on sleeping, I finally emerged feeling relatively normal, though I hadn't eaten for a couple of days. I know that some people think not eating is great because we can lose weight, but I appreciate having an appetite because it is a sign of health, and I appreciate food. Now I am fully vaccinated and not worried about living and working in an area with tens-of-thousands of people. I'm still being careful about where I go, and I wear my mask. These limitations aren't fun and can be frustrating and depressing, but I'd rather deal with all that than get COVID, even a mild case, or pass it on to someone who could really suffer from it!</p><p><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">Amazon Kindle book</a> and print book at the Eckhartz Press site, <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">www.wickerparkwishes.com</a></span></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-34737350391298171152021-10-24T21:10:00.004-05:002021-10-24T21:19:10.041-05:00It's easy for people to say they don't care about money, etc. when they already have it<p>One time I was in a person's house that was so large, I forgot the way back to the room where I was staying, and that was one of their two homes; they had another one in another state. The person also drove a luxury car, wore fine jewelry, went to upscale grocery stores, took amazing vacations, and could enroll their kids in whatever activities they wanted. They also didn't have to work, so they went to the gym, tried different diets, maintained their fit figure, and was in charge of managing their family's life. They told me that they didn't really need all that (the houses, money, cars, jewelry), didn't care about it all, and could live without it, which made me wonder: why did they purchase it? Why didn't they protest against it? And if they lost it all, how would they feel? What if they had to work to support the family, could not send their kids to tutors or good schools, and had to shop at discount stores and Goodwill? Would that really be okay with them? </p><p>I doubt it. One famous speaker said that her husband had "made up his mind" that if he couldn't play golf anymore, he'd be fine with it. But he is still golfing and hasn't lost the ability to play. So what they're talking about is just a theory; the reality could be a lot more depressing. Why not make some kind of pronouncement once the golf goes away? Then that would be more believable. But until then, it's a nice message to deliver to people who would love to be able to play golf, or be able to have the time and money to do any hobby. There's nothing noble in saying you don't need something when you clearly have it.</p><p>There are many people in history who had a lot and through political upheaval, war, or just a bad economy, lost what they had and had to start over. Then they really found out what they need or want. We can be inspired by such people. But I don't really believe people who say things that are hypothetical. If you really don't need that wealth, give some to me. I know what I would do with more money, even though I technically don't need it.</p><p>I think that sometimes people say things to distract us from what we don't have. So if someone is being interviewed and they downplay what they have, or talk about how they love what they're doing so much, they can't believe they're getting paid for it, then fire the agent that got you that huge contract, and give some of that money away. Losing a job, prestige, support, friends, respect, money is not fun. It's much better to be able to afford things, shop for food without budgeting, live in a safer neighborhood, and not starve. It is much better. </p><p>When I see people talking about not needing something, that their earlier struggling days were better, they're saying that because many people are struggling, and they're trying to connect with people. But I seriously doubt that they want to go back to the struggle, when they weren't sure if they could pay their rent or eat three meals or go out for dinner or drinks with friends. Even going on vacation seems like a luxury to a lot of people. The posers are nostalgic for "simpler" times while their bellies are now full and they can shop wherever they want. But if they lose it, they'll want the richer times much more.</p><p><i><span style="font-family: inherit;">p.s. <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/">Amazon Kindle book</a> and print book at<span style="background-color: white;"> the Eckhartz Press site, <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com/" style="color: #783f04; text-decoration-line: none;">www.wickerparkwishes.com</a></span></span></i></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-75030018785140065012021-10-04T09:21:00.001-05:002021-10-04T09:41:22.722-05:00Fictionalizing what people aren't sharing<p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I recently read <a href="https://www.chicagotribune.com/news/ct-eric-ferguson-lawsuit-wtmx--20210927-nclsmlrjvnefln7zcstffijtcm-story.html" target="_blank">an article in the Chicago Tribune</a> about a lawsuit "</span>alleging radio star coerced sexual favors," which made me wonder why the Me Too movement hasn't touched the Chicago TV and radio scene. A lot of people in national media and movies have come forward with allegations, but not even a handful of people here in Chicago have spoken publicly about any kind of incidents. And not much seems to have been shared in other cities, even though I know it has happened at various radio and TV stations throughout the country.</p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Even though the <a href="https://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/ct-me-too-timeline-20171208-htmlstory.html" target="_blank">"Me Too"</a> phrase started in 2006, the movement didn't really blow up online until more than ten years later. But because I'd seen and heard various things in the media biz, I wrote a fictional piece about a Me Too-type of situation in 2009. It was in an anthology that </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">my business published </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">called </span><a href="https://www.amazon.com/Down-Block-Metrolingua/dp/0615264263" style="font-family: inherit;" target="_blank">Down the Block</a>, which<span style="font-family: inherit;"> includes more than 15 authors' and bloggers' pieces (read the book below). One reader seemed to be impressed that I'd written something</span><span style="font-family: inherit;"> way before the Me Too movement. Another reader thought that I'd experienced this story, but honestly, I never have. But there are people out there who have had a similar experience, and have stayed silent. Why? </span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>Mister P</b></span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Mr. P lived in a penthouse near the Swissotel, right on the Chicago river. That’s where he prepped for his radio show, which was number one in Chicago. I had to go there because I was his producer, and he always had an open bottle of wine, which he knocked off during our meetings. He never offered me any, which was fine with me, because I was afraid of what I might say if I got even a bit tipsy. We’d meet there in the early afternoon, after he took his long nap and after I returned calls from desperate PR reps who wanted access to his near-million listeners.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">He always liked calling me “babe” and it never stopped annoying me, but there was nothing I could do, because there were only a few shows in Chicago, and I didn’t want to leave radio. In a normal company, I’d be able to go to HR to complain about him, or at least would be able to talk to our supervisor, and there would be an understanding that such treatment wasn’t right, but the Program Director at the station was a good friend of his from junior high, and since his hobby was collecting candid photos of barely dressed teens off of MySpace to post on his office wall, there was no way I could talk to him about it. So I just ignored the “babe” and “sweetie” names, and I’d focus on the next day’s run-down, which Mr. P wouldn’t look at until right before he went on the air. Which made me wonder why I had to go to his place to prep, because he could care less about what was going on, as long as he kept getting his million-plus paycheck and could keep paying his ex-wife alimony, while I did all the work to put the show together.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“You know doll, you never told me if you have a boyfriend,” he said and leaned over until his belly spilled over his pants.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I do,” I lied. There was no way I was going to let him know anything about my personal life. Or anything else, because I just wanted to put in my time with his show, pack my resume with experience, and move on to something better – and more normal.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I remember when I dated this girl, I met her at my last station in Milwaukee,” he said, and continued telling me stories of how and where he bagged her, then chuckled when he told me she cried when he blew her off to move to Chicago.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Lovely,” I said, staring at my laptop to find a good story for the 7:00 hour. I really wanted to tell him off, but I couldn’t because I needed this job to get ahead, and that’s what I kept telling myself as he continued to talk about himself, as he always did, no matter what the topic was.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“You ever do anyone at the station?” he asked, pouring more wine into his goblet, which had his face on it and the name of one of the show’s biggest sponsors.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“No,” I said, and tried to divert his attention away with a juicy story of Mayor Daley once again denying corruption in the city, but he ignored it, of course.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I did – every station I’ve worked – keeps you on edge. You never know if someone will walk in, ha ha.” His double chin jiggled while he let out a snort.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">There was no way I could sit there any longer.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Yeah, well, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, and packed up my things. I started to make my way towards his private elevator, and thought I was free until I felt a tug of my sleeve.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Where you going?” he asked. He had a cigar in one hand and an almost-empty wine bottle in the other. “You want a glass?”</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“No – I’ve gotta go,” I said, and was almost on the elevator when he suddenly pulled me back.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“Come on, we’ve been working together a long time.” He was so close, I could smell his cigar-wine breath, and could tell he doused a bunch of cologne on his lard to drown the body odor.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">“I really have to go,” I said, and pushed the elevator button again since the door closed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Then he pulled me back more violently, which made me fall to the floor. “Stop!” I yelled, and he pinned me down with his thick arms until I couldn’t move. “Help!” I screamed, but he stopped my speech with his slobbery smelly mouth.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">I managed to free my legs enough to kick his flabby stomach, which was hanging over me. He slightly moved to the side, then tried to return on top of me, which just made me kick him harder. I kept kicking and kicking until he rolled to the side, and I ran out to the emergency exit, setting off an alarm. I flew down several flights of stairs and down to the street, where the sidewalks were filled with suited workers watching the tourist boats on the river. Everything looked normal, and it was even sunny outside, but I felt awful enough to take the next week off, because I was so broken inside, and could barely get out of bed.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">So I was fired, and Mr. P even managed to get a smear piece written about me in the Times’ media column because the writer was a good friend of his, and he’d never believe my side of the story. Or care. Nobody cared, actually, because other people just saw it as a chance to try to get my job. So I took a break from radio.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: inherit;">Until now. I’m currently the Program Director of another talk station on the northwest side of Chicago, which I partly own thanks to some investors and my generous grandparents’ will. So I can hire who I want. And right now, Mr. P and his agent are sitting in my office, right in front of me, trying to convince me to hire him because his morning show was replaced with a syndicated one out of New York, and the new owners didn’t want to pay his high salary anymore. And now, Mr. P wants to work with me. At my station. So what do you think my answer is going to be?</span></p>
<iframe allow="autoplay" height="480" src="https://drive.google.com/file/d/148FWnbiuuDfSTNSJqVXsSaZ4eyFPIne3/preview" width="640"></iframe><div><br /></div><div><i style="background-color: white; font-family: Verdana, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13.2px;">p.s. Order and get info about my novel <a href="http://www.tinyurl.com/wickerparkwishes" target="_blank">Wicker Park Wishes</a> at the Eckhartz Press site, <a href="http://www.wickerparkwishes.com">www.wickerparkwishes.com</a></i></div>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7983828.post-19081070732257217922021-09-06T19:41:00.002-05:002021-09-06T19:44:04.346-05:00Let's Meet at Printers Row Lit Fest! Saturday 4:30-6, September 11th<p>If you are going to the Printers Row Lit Fest this Saturday, stop by to say hello! I will be there from 4:30-6 with Vicki Quade, author of <a href="https://eckhartzpress.com/shop/close-encounters-of-a-chicago-kind/" target="_blank">Close Encounters of a Chicago Kind,</a> in Tent K, which is the Chicago Writers Association Booth. You can buy a book right there, or you can also <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Wicker-Park-Wishes-Margaret-Larkin-ebook/dp/B09CWGNYMV/" target="_blank">order the digital version at Amazon</a> right now, if you want :)</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxoBFmsx-JdJoQx330mMT71dKFU0IYxkZEQa63l9EGFIB-2hHCe0k8zPXrdtwlzoD2n66XuajEPbz9OAncu7pxYzGSlbsf1Z-QsPsTdbKd77glhz69KndxA9u5VshI4W42erX9JA/s1363/printers-row.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Wicker Park Wishes" border="0" data-original-height="1000" data-original-width="1363" height="405" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxoBFmsx-JdJoQx330mMT71dKFU0IYxkZEQa63l9EGFIB-2hHCe0k8zPXrdtwlzoD2n66XuajEPbz9OAncu7pxYzGSlbsf1Z-QsPsTdbKd77glhz69KndxA9u5VshI4W42erX9JA/w553-h405/printers-row.jpg" width="553" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Margaret Larkinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06421277669200495407noreply@blogger.com0