5.31.2006

Helmet heads

I'm not crazy about Fox News, and not for the same reason other people aren't crazy about it. I can't bring myself to watch all those blonde helmet heads babble within programming that resembles football pre- and post-game shows.

It reminds me of what people used to say about Alfred Hitchcock: he liked using blondes in his movies and even became obsessed with some (all?) of them. And now that I see this picture of the Fox Boss, there doesn't seem to be much difference between the philosophy or looks of him and Hitchcock.



Below are a few of the helmet heads that either have decided to dye their hair a brassy blonde or were told to. Often I suspect that they were "encouraged" to do it, otherwise the Fox Boss would move on to other chicks for sufficient entertainment. Unfortunately, these pictures do not capture the true tackiness of their helmets. If you dare to watch Fox, you'll see absolute blondeness, which is more of an orange-yellow, with none of the dark roots and strands that are in these pictures.





I've talked to Fox Fans (guys, of course) who like their women cute, and do not see any helmets, just pleasant collagen-injected lips moving to the monitors. One guy even sent me an urgent email, saying that I was wrong, that they do have a variety of non-helmeted women, but at this point, I'm not willing to watch Fox 24/7 to confirm it.

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