Almost there

Last year, before Nanowrimo, I wrote 40,000 words of a novel that's more mainstream than my previous [unpublished] one. Then I put it aside to write 50,000 words for Nanowrimo, and after that, I took a break from writing fiction because stuff was developing on the radio front.

Then I resumed the novel a few months ago, and decided to totally rewrite it. I would've finished the rewrite sooner, but my radio life was crazy, and then my friend John died. So I resumed writing this week, and I'm almost at the 40k mark again--just a couple of days away. And that's 40,000 words of fresh stuff--pure rewrite.

I want to wait until I get to 45,000 words to print out the draft, but I'm running out of steam. The problem is that the story is out, but I have to deal with the annoying details. I don't want to dig that deep--I just want to do general stuff and move on. But I can't. And the worst part of it is that there is no one in the biz who's expecting it--I'm just going to be one of those idiotic, naive hopefuls that's going to be sending out query letters. And I can't do that until I create a decent draft.

This is one of those times when I would email John and he would email back some interesting advice or tidbits from his own writing. But he's gone for good! I can't believe it!

So I'm bummed because of his absence from this world, having writer's block, and the fact that I'm not a published writer. I'm still a wannabe.