When I started thinking more

As I've said here and offline many times, I used to work a lot and no longer am. The first adjustment from cutting back was having time in my schedule and head to think. I didn't want to think, just wanted to do. I liked being busy and filling my time and avoiding introspection. Fast forward many months and days, and I'm carving out time to think and reflect. I recently had 12 hours of working directly with people, not at a computer near people, but directly talking to them, teaching them, etc. Then today is free, and I have more than 4 hours tomorrow. In the past it would've been no big deal, and I would've worked on top of that, and I wouldn't have had a day off between the 12 and 4+ hours; I would've looked for something to fill my day off, such as working at another gig that would've already been lined up. Or writing and editing a novel. Or something. But thinking was not a part of the plan; the goal was to stay busy and outward-facing. And in addition to dealing with workplace challenges, all the stress and stuffed schedule would keep me occupied.

But I'm no longer like that. Today I didn't schedule anything and have been doing my own thing, which requires thought and silence. Of course, I won't stay in such a condition all day because I need to see the outside world.

So of course, I'm not an introvert and never will be. I get energy around people and if the people like other people and are cool, simpatico, and interesting, then I'm super-happy and energized. A good example is the most recent train trip I took from LA to Chicago. I'd taken that trip several times before, and have gone to and from the East Coast via train. This time it was fantastic: not only were the workers all friendly and seemed to like people (which is essential for a people-facing job), but I met really interesting passengers from a variety of backgrounds. The train was also really busy and it was a combination of quiet and talkative fun. When I got home, it was very hard to adjust to my non-trip life. It was so quiet and dark and still, it seemed spooky. For a non-introvert like me, going from a stimulating, people-oriented environment to the total opposite can be jarring and disturbing. 

So what I'm writing about here is not me turning into an introvert by needing downtime, but me finally calming down enough to quietly create.

p.s. the e-book version of my debut novel is still at Amazon, and the price for the print version has been reduced: buy at the Eckhartz Press site.