Creativity can be control

After creating a lot of content for other people and places, and just working to make others shine, I broke away from such a hustle and have had more time to do my own thing. And I've realized that always following others' wishes can lead to a feeling of a lack of control. 

But life doesn't have to totally be all that. Creating something that comes from within is very satisfying, and no one can take that away or dictate what to do. We often have to follow what others say or conform to the group, but creating is just about what we want to express, and doing that gives us control.

We can post something online and may never get feedback, but at least it's what we've created. The problem is when it enters the marketplace and has to be assessed. Then the power isn't only ours anymore. The public has control, and a negative or apathetic response can mean failure, and a sense of hopelessness. But if we're just doing something that is totally unique to us, from us, we are the control; we don't need externals. 

Of course, if we get success, that's fantastic because it is validation of our efforts. But many times we don't get approval or attention, so just spending time in that independent slot within our lives is enough to break us free from dulling external effects.

I find it hard to always be motivated, but when I think about the power of creating, that can be the motivation, because "real artists ship."

p.s. the e-book version of my debut novel is still at Amazon, and the price for the print version has been reduced: buy at the Eckhartz Press site.

I will soon be studying three languages simultaneously

The language-learning lifestyle is continuing, and this month I will be taking three different language classes. I've been studying French for a couple years at the excellent Alliance Française, started studying Italian at the beginning of this year, and will be taking a German grammar class.

I'm going to have a lot of homework, though of course it won't be as rigorous as credit homework. Homework in an adult class at a language school can take a couple of hours. And that's in addition to ingesting the language in other ways; it's not enough to just do the homework, because it's just a tiny sliver of what's out there. Now I'll be doing it with three languages at the same time.

The in-person German classes are not near my place, and I don't want to commute late at night. I thought I'd give up trying to find something that fits, then I saw an A2 grammar refresh course at a convenient time. Since I reached A2 at GLS in Berlin, I've wanted to advance but haven't been able to find classes that fit my schedule. But there's a more urgent need because I'm going to Germany in October, and I need to get back to the level I achieved when I was there. I at least have to know how to put a decent sentence together again.

I'm continuing French because the teachers at Alliance Chicago are highly trained, organized, and caring. I've also considered French a friend for several years as I've treated it like a fun pursuit. Now I want to be able to know enough to travel there; I don't want to stick to just the tourist areas. 

If I were rich, I'd amp up the hours and take credit courses to be able to speak and write well. But I'm not rich, so I'm doing what I can, which is important because we all should leave space for enjoyable endeavors.