Coming this summer

I've been working on compiling some bloggers' and emerging writers' stuff to create an anthology...so stay tuned (and I've changed my homepage as well). This is probably one of the most enjoyable projects I've worked on, and I can't wait to see how it will develop.

An overused phrase

It seems that commercial copy (advertising, marketing, etc) seems to often include the phrase "We work hard to ensure..." I think at this point, it's overused. People should think of other ways to communicate with potential clients and customers. When I see that phrase, it doesn't convince me that they're really working hard, it just shows that they're using a canned phrase because their writing hasn't loosened up and they don't know how to communicate with humans in a non-targeting way (the comma splice in this sentence was intentional, btw).

Who's buying fiction

The PIC (Publishing Industrial Complex) has become so consolidated (like radio), that they need to churn out blockbusters to make the profits they want. So obviously, the people who are buying those blockbusters are the general public, but it seems like the folks who buy the other kinds of fiction are writers or wannabe writers. I didn't really think too much about this until I saw all the books that are being featured at Karin Gillespie's blog. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But I sort of "wish" the PIC wasn't so big. That way, they wouldn't be so impatient to only accept authors that are going to hit it out of the park the first time they're at bat.

Structure

The past few days have been quite translating- and radio-oriented, so I haven't been writing outside of work, but I did have time to see an interview with John Grisham. I've read a couple of his books, which were okay, but the bottom line is that he makes a ton of money from his writing, so he's obviously doing something right!

I didn't watch the whole interview, just the part where he talks about writing ("chapter 5"), and he said what a lot of people say: make an outline. But for some reason, even though I've heard that advice many times before (usually from blockbuster authors who create thrillers, mysteries, etc.), his emphasis was pretty convincing.

I think I haven't followed that advice because I'm not writing a thriller or anything like that, though I'm definitely not writing "literary" fiction, but I will probably create an outline because it makes sense.

When Grisham was working on his first book with an editor, he had to get rid of hundreds of pages and change the rest (which made me wonder how he got a publisher in the first place, and how it's "unfair" that he didn't write stellar stuff and still got into the Publishing Industrial Complex), which convinced him that an outline would reduce the amount of throw-away material.

So I've been reading about how three-act stories break down, and I feel more sane. I've written complete drafts, but I always have to go back and fix a lot of it or get rid of it altogether. I'm still tempted to write whatever and meander down a path, but I think structure will help keep me on track and finish something that might see the light of day one century.

I think I know what my problem is

I was working on my story [novel] today (which will probably not see the light of day, though I want it to eventually) and I realized that I really need to find my voice.

"Finding your voice" is an overused and vague phrase, and I used to not think it was as important as plot or other stuff, but now I've realized it is. I think I had that attitude because it sounded so fake: "find your voice." And it seemed impossible, and part of some requirement for writing like 100 years ago, when fiction didn't have to be so hyper-commercial to succeed.

But I've noticed in different creative mediums that people hit their stride when they find their voice, whether they're singers, painters, writers, musicians, radio talent, or anything that requires a person to dig deep within themselves to share their craft with the world. I've been able to spot and develop a voice in non-fiction writing, but for some reason, I didn't want to accept that I needed to hone it in fiction until I started feeling fake about what I was writing.

So today I worked on the story, and anytime I felt like I was being fake, I got to the "truth" by getting to my "voice". But the problem is, I still haven't settled on a voice, so I have to keep working at it.

Artropolis

I got a VIP pass to Artropolis to do some posts at an art blog, so that's what I've been writing. I'm quite tired because Artropolis has like five shows going at the same time, and each show has hundreds of booths. I've decided to focus on just a few shows, but I've still looked at thousands of pieces of art. But getting a VIP pass ain't bad, and I wouldn't mind doing it again for another show.

An interesting problem to have

I've never read any Harry Potter books, but I do know that JK Rowling has become very rich from writing them. I can see why she wants to sue a guy who wants to publish a book based on her creation, but if you're going to write such insanely popular books, you've gotta expect people to want to make something off them as well.

A lot of writers would love to make a fraction of the money she has, and many creative people are toiling in obscurity, and probably will continue that way until they die. So while her copyright is being threatened because she wants to protect her unique, hard work, this is an inevitable problem to have. Imagine being in such a position that all you care about is your copyright, and the money doesn't matter. She is worried about principles, and a lot of us out here are worried about getting our work noticed or even out of our drawers.

Life is pretty good when what you've strived for has been not only achieved but surpassed in a big way, and what you end up caring about are concepts of what creativity is, and what you are about. She's living in the abstract at this point because she can pay her bills many times over.

Busy having fun

I was going to post something here yesterday, but I had to teach and then I hung out with John Banas. I went there around 6 pm, so I figured I'd be back in time to do other stuff, including translating and posting stuff here. But I didn't leave until after 1 am, and since he lives two counties away from me, I didn't get home until after 2 in the morning.

But at least we got to talk about writing. He likes to write thrillers, I like to write non-thrillers. Right now I think I have a good enough idea to not want to discuss the details, even with him. Because, as "they" (whoever "they" is) say, if you talk about it, sometimes you won't write about it.

What's the point

I was planning on working on the novel tonight after Japanese class, but I started feeling quite sick, and am not even well enough to do a decent blog post right now. But I thought, "Who cares if you can't write--that novel is never going to get published! Why waste your time?"

When I write, I know I'm doing the right thing. But when I'm not writing, I wonder what's the point. The point is to create something, but it might never see the light of day.

[whining is over]

Writing again

I used to do "whoa is me" posts here about how difficult fiction writing was, and then I wrote a couple of novels (unpublished of course, which made me feel even worse). After I finished the second one last February, which I still feel is a great feat, I stopped writing fiction because I was focusing on whatever radio stuff I could string together.

Well I'm finishing up a very intense radio-producing (assistant) gig for the number one show at the number one station in Chicago, and I'm ready to write again. I guess my mind for the past several months has been wrapped around translating, teaching, and surviving in the dwindling radio biz (which is borderline dead-end because of syndication and consolidation), and now my mind is asking me, "Where have you been? You've got a good story to write!" So I've been re-reading a book I read a while ago about plot, and I do, indeed, have a good idea, which is a revision of what I finished last year.

So the bottom line is I'm back, and once I can resume normal waking hours (right now I wake up around 2 AM), I'm going to write even more.

AITPL posted

A while ago, I submitted an essay to Air in the Paragraph Line, and that issue has been posted. So now you can read about a bunch of us whining about work. Mine is about experiencing "the last straw", when I decided to quit pursuing a teaching career. Actually, since I wrote that essay, I found a good teaching situation at a city college with very nice students, a supportive administration, and nice coworkers. So I haven't totally quit teaching as I wanted to some years ago after working for a bunch of liars.

Writing contest

There's a writing contest in memory of my Metrofiction pal John Deaver, who passed away last year. Here's some of the info from an article that came out last week:

Since Steel Beam is once again producing "A Christmas Story," the board of directors wishes to honor the memory of John Deaver by creating a writing contest in his name: The John Deaver "A Christmas Story" Short Story/Memoir Contest.

Organizers are looking for your best literary short stories or memoirs about the winter holidays (Christmas, Kwanza, Hannukah, etc.) Winners will receive a cash honorarium, publication in a booklet printed by Steel Beam Theatre, five copies of the booklet, two complimentary tickets to "A Christmas Story" and the chance to read their story during a Steel Beam Theatre performance Nov. 23 to Dec. 23.

All stories should be no longer than the maximum length set forth below, and must be received by Nov. 1. Winners will be notified on or about Nov. 15.

You may submit your manuscript at www.SteelBeamTheatre.com, or a double-spaced, typewritten copy may be sent to Steel Beam Theatre, 111 W. Main Street, St. Charles, IL 60174.

Include the following information in the upper left hand corner: Division, Name, Address, Telephone numbers, e-mail address and word count.

Adults' word limit is 2,500 and the prize would be $100.

High school students' word limit is 2,000 and prize is $100.

Kids in grades 7/8 have a word limit of 500 and prize of $75. Grades 5/6 have a limit of 250 words and prize of $ 50. Grades 3/4 have a word limit of 100 and prize of $25.

All the info is here.

Actually, I did a post here about John's involvement with the Christmas Story a couple of years ago.

Why I'm crazy

While I was stuck in traffic today, it hit me: my mind has been collapsing upon itself because I have not used it to tackle any fiction. I haven't written fiction in more than a few months because I finished a novel and then had to write a good query letter, and kept thinking that once I finished the query, I'd send it off and then start a new novel. But I was stuck on trying to write a good query letter, and since I wasn't getting anywhere, I put it aside to do other stuff.

Usually, even if I have difficult stuff going on, fiction writing has made me feel great and has even made me feel overwhelmingly peaceful. And if I have seemingly unsolvable problems, at least I can use my problem-solving skills to create a story. When I first tried to write a novel, I was often stressed out and worried. But I got so used to writing so consistently, I started to enjoy the process. And now I feel like I'm crazy because months have passed and I haven't written anything. So even if I don't manage to write a decent query letter, I should write another novel.

I've heard of published authors talking about how great writing makes them feel, and if they have to do the non-writing stuff that's related to their profession, they get all frustrated because they're not writing. But they have that added incentive of editors and readers waiting for their work. But we unpublished folks just have to be rewarded by the feeling we get from writing. And I've really neglected it, so I feel awful. All the other stuff I've been worried about would've been greatly eased if only I'd taken the time during these past months to write fiction. And I would've had at least a first draft done!

Writing to cope

Yesterday I was working on a short fiction piece that is probably one of the weirdest things I've written (though it may not be weird enough), and I walked away from the computer very happy. Which means that I have to keep writing because when other stuff doesn't fall into place in life, writing sure does. Or at least the way I feel about it does.

I think my mistake has been to put all my eggs in one basket: whether it's a job or people or whatever. For some reason, I sometimes assume that things in the non-fiction world (ie, reality) will be enough, but then when I hit walls, instead of focusing on the obstacles, all I've got to do is write, and it's a nice option to real-life disappointments.

So the lesson I've learned is to keep pursuing creative projects because it makes life a lot more tolerable. Sort of like a backup plan: if there's no real-life adventure, then writing (or photos) can provide it.

Weird writing

I'm attempting to write something for Jon Konrath's crazy/weird-themed zine, based on situations I've seen both fictionally and realistically. I posted a comment that's related to the theme I'm writing about at someone's journal, and thought there'd be no reponse. But then much later, they *did* respond, saying that I was "weird", so I figured, hey, since someone said such a thought showed weirdness, it's a kind of confirmation, so I might as well try to write something I've been thinking about for a while. It's yet another "what if" that has led me to other fiction writing (that has yet to see the light of day). I've written part of it and plan on finishing it soon because I want plenty of time for the potential rejection or editing request (hope it's the latter).

Sounds vague, and there's a lot I'd like to write about it, but I can't.

Hookish enough?

Ok, I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who've whined about the writing process, and I'm not going to pretend I haven't. And this is my latest concern: I wonder if my story has enough of a hook. That's the important word, I guess, in the fiction biz: hook. I think what I wrote is something that women are going to be able to relate to, but it's not earth-shattering. So if there's no fancy hook, is a potential book doomed? Perhaps what I wrote is not hookish enough for the PIC (Publishing Industrial Complex). But I won't know until I polish my query letter and send it out. Then after 50 or so rejections, I will know, and will have to go back to the drawing (writing) board.

I'm not prissy

I've been looking at examples of successful query letters, and they seem prissy. That's not me. I came upon an agent (who's not accepting any unsolicited queries, so I can't contact her anyway) and she posted an example of a "great" query at her site (which I don't want to link to because I don't want to slam anyone by name).

I read it over, and thought that it was wordy and prissy and silly and self-consciously "cute". But according to the agent, it's a winner, and the book ended up not only getting published, but sold as part of a series. Actually, I read the book, and the writing style was a lot tighter and more straightforward than the query. So based on that example and others I've seen, do we have to write prissy queries in order to get our straightforward books accepted?

And then there's the inevitable editing that happens: the prissy query I read didn't have the same plot as the finished book. Which means that the agent had the author rewrite it before submission to publishers. Which goes back to my usual complaint: why do we have to kill ourselves to write a "perfect" manuscript if it's going to get rewritten anyway?

I just want to write a straightforward query, not some fussy, girly words that are supposed to make the agent giggle in glee.

Need to write

Since I finished the novel, I've started working on another one (amazingly!) while looking for agents. I didn't write all weekend because I took the time off, but I shouldn't have because I'm at the point where I can not NOT write. This is a big deal because a lot of unpublished writers give up, or they want an incentive to write, but my incentive is that I enjoy it. Sure, I'd love to publish what I've written, but it's not the sole reason anymore.

I know people who tell me that they want to write a novel, and I give them a trite response: "then write it." But they think there's some magical feeling they should have. It takes discipline and commitment and a belief in the worthiness of the process. But people don't want to sit down and do it. Or they're scared because it's difficult (which it is) and it's hard work and requires people to let go and become something/someone that they might not usually be.

Done!

Ok--I reached my goal of finishing the novel today. I was supposed to meet Johnny B for lunch, but it was snowing so much, it would have been a very long trip up to the burbs, so we rescheduled for next week. But my goal was to finish the book by the time I met up with him today, and I still stuck to my goal. Which is a victory.

And now all I have to do is proofread it. I'm so used to it hanging over my head, it's strange to not have to write the story anymore. The story has been told! I just can't believe it--I started a while ago, did different drafts, trashed a lot of stuff, got into radio and put the novel aside for a while, and now it's done!

Besides proofreading it, I have to get a list of agents to contact and write a convincing query letter. There's a lot more work to be done and rejections to be received. But I'm still motivated, and am happy that I stuck to my goals and was disciplined and focused enough to write it. I see the fact that I worked on it despite the absence of any editor or agent waiting for it as an incredible feat--lots of people give up when there's no such external motivation.

One side note: the upside of work not being too busy or satisfying is the ability to think about and pursue writing--and my attitude towards it has changed. Because I took the time to write, it helped me appreciate the process. I have a lot more to say, but will save it for another time. I'm both elated and feel sort of odd that I've finally crossed the finish line.

The end is near

I am almost done with the novel I've been working on. The first draft took just a few months, which I was happy about because I've discovered that it's best to write something quickly instead of agonizing over stuff that will inevitably be revised again and again. I felt like I was being disciplined and responsible by getting that first draft out. But the problem was that I felt like it was fake, that it wasn't from the heart, so I put it aside and pursued other creative stuff. Then I observed some interactions between people and found out about some other people's experiences, and ended up wondering "what if...", which I incorporated into the story. So I got rid of the first draft and totally started over. It took a lot longer to do the second draft because I was involved in exciting work that sort of subdued my desire to write. But the desire came back strong, so I started working on the book again.

Now I really don't have a lot more to do--I see the end of the tunnel, which is driving me even more to finish it. I even have put off other stuff to do it, which isn't so responsible, but is still a breakthrough because this book might never get published, and that's not stopping me.

I actually don't feel the despair we unpublished writers usually feel but excitement that I've written something I'm pretty happy with that is going to be completed. Hopefully I'll remember that when I get the rejections.

Addicted to desire

I'm surprised there's no movie or book or short story or poem or whatever out there with the title "Addicted to Desire." I wouldn't write about it, but I'm surprised no one else has, really. I know that some people have written about the topic--sort of, but within the fiction world, it seems to be absent.

So I guess I'm offering a free bit of advice--it's a cool title.

Fiction is lying

I'm sure I'm not the first one to say this, and I don't have time to look it up right now, but sometimes writing fiction feels like lying. For instance, I started on this month's 50k-word project, and I wanted to start with a "what if" based on stuff I'd experienced, but realized if I continue along that path, then it wouldn't be fiction, so I started "lying." I know there are authors out there who've gotten big-time recognition for fiction that was just thinly veiled non-fiction, probably because they wanted to communicate a theme that was based on their seemingly interesting reality. Or it could be that they were too lazy to create fiction with the things they'd learned from their bizarre experiences. There's one local author who's of the more intellectual group, and when I read his stuff, I thought that there was nothing fictional about it--it was just a bunch of essays, posing as short stories and eventually as a loosely-constructed novel. But an agent saw his work in a literary fiction publication and was impressed, and they've milked the guy's background enough to make him into a name on the lit fic scene. It's one of those things that falls under the L.I.F. category (Life Isn't Fair).

Really 20k

In under a month, I have written 20,000 words of fiction. And those are original, unlike the Harvard liar who copied others' work.

A while ago, I was in a writing group, and some of the members criticized me for not reading fiction while writing fiction. I told them that I don't want to be influenced by someone else's style or words, and I still believe that. I want to get my cues from experiences and conversations and other people's lives, not what authors publish.

I'm sure I'm not alone in being disgusted that the publisher was too lazy to check that teenager's work to make sure it was truly her own. And of course, the rest of us are out here working earnestly and diligently to create original words, but the PIC (Publishing Industrial Complex) could care less.

Another example of L.I.F. (Life Isn't Fair)

Fiction is unfair

This could be an ongoing series: "How Fiction is Unfair," Parts I-X, but I don't want to always whine here about it. But I'm mentioning it today because I just saw an example (not from my own experience) of how the road to being published is difficult, which makes the overall fiction process seemingly unfair (and part of the larger category of L.I.F.--Life isn't Fair).

I'm not going to mention any names, but it's true: unless you're Madonna or Oprah or some other superstar, it doesn't matter if you have contacts in the publishing or agent world--it doesn't guarantee that you will get published, let alone seriously considered. It happened to me a couple of times, and it just happened to someone else. They contacted an agent of a successful writer, and they were even referred by that successful writer, but the agent wasn't interested.

If you are considering writing fiction, this is what is required: you have to complete the entire book (unlike non-fiction, where you need an outline, a marketing plan, and a few chapters). Yes, there are some lucky fiction writers who've gotten a deal from a partial manuscript or even a summary, but that's not common.

And you can't just do one draft and then contact an agent (though a few talented people do)--you have to do several drafts. That means working alone, wondering if anyone will ever be interested, and wondering if what you're doing is a waste of time.

Actually, writing isn't a waste of time. Sure, I've written a lot and I'm not yet published, but it's been both enjoyable and challenging. But what's difficult about it is that you could be working in isolation your whole life, and your words will just disappear into the ether. You might have a writing group, but you may never find a larger audience with whom you want to share your creation.

One of the satisfying aspects is writing is knowing that others are receiving it. But writing fiction is sometimes like writing in a cave, where the only response is the echo of your struggle to convey your vision.

I don't know if the person who experienced the recent disappointment feels the same way, but I wouldn't be surprised if other people have had the same experience I have: you train (through classes, writing exercises, writing groups, and reading) and write to the best of your ability to create something (sweating over the words and doing rewrites). You have no editor, no one in the business to let you know if what you're doing is acceptable. You just hope that all the time and energy you've spent will lead to tangible results. But you have no idea if you will see any fruits of your labor, because no one will let you know, except for other hopeful (even misguided) unpublished writers.

And then you get rejected. Not only do you get rejected on what you've created, but they have no interest in anything else you will write. You could say, "I'm working on X now," but they won't care, because they've deemed all your current and potential work as unacceptable.

I haven't been rejected lately, though I might be, because I submitted something somewhere. But at least I've got other things going, including some non-fiction projects, which are satisfying because there is an end to my work--I can see the results. But it doesn't mean that I'm going to give up writing fiction, because it taps into a part of myself that doesn't find an outlet elsewhere, even though teaching is still a creative endeavor.

I just know that whenever I see someone else work diligently, honestly, consistently, and responsibly and then they're shot down, I can relate.

Arthur is done

The day has arrived when Arthur Chrenkoff will no longer post to his blog.

I mentioned it last month, and I'm bummed out about it again. He is an excellent writer and intelligent thinker (see his explanation of Post-Totalitarian Stress Disorder). It's a shame that he didn't end up in the print media anywhere. If I ran the world, he would be given a well-paid job as a columnist and commentator.

I wish I could name some people who are in those positions and don't deserve them, but I may meet them one day and I don't want to get into trouble. Actually, I have seen a columnist a couple of times in a cafe, sitting right next to me, and I wanted to ask how the heck they got their vapid words published in one of the nation's top newspapers, but I just accepted it as another example of L.I.F. (Life Isn't Fair).

He writes better than most native English speakers, but he didn't know much English when he emigrated to Australia from Poland:

I came to Australia seventeen years ago, knowing maybe 50 English words. I did not expect any "Polish focused" institutions to keep me in a linguistic ghetto; I wanted to learn the language of the land so I could make the most of the opportunities that Australia could offer me. It's the love of books that got me where I am. I'm looking now at an old notebook, where I wrote down all the words that were new to me together with their translation and phonetic pronunciation.

Hopefully he'll keep his archives up at his blog and his Metrofiction page.