Funny translator

Weird translation site

After I linked to an article in my previous post that Mad Minerva suggested, she sent me a link to a weird site that does back-and-forth machine translation between various languages. The guy who created it seems like a very smart nerdy type. Below is the mutation of something I really think, which actually ended up sounding like abstract poetry:

Original English Text:
I wouldn't mind being discovered one day.

Translated to Japanese:
I wouldn' 検出されるtの心1日。

Translated back to English:
I wouldn' The heart 1 day of t which is detected.

Translated to Chinese:
我wouldn' 重点检测的1天t。

Translated back to English:
My wouldn' Key examination 1 day of t.

Translated to French:
Mon wouldn' ; Examen principal 1 jour de T.

Translated back to English:
My wouldn' Principal examination 1 day of T.

Translated to German:
Mein wouldn' Allgemeine Prüfung 1 Tag von T.

Translated back to English:
My wouldn' General check 1 day of T.

Translated to Italian:
Il mio wouldn' Controllo generale 1 giorno del T.

Translated back to English:
Mine wouldn' General control 1 day of T.

Translated to Portuguese:
Mina wouldn' Controle geral 1 dia do T.

Translated back to English:
Mine wouldn' General control 1 day of the T.

Translated to Spanish:
Mina wouldn' Control general 1 día del T.

Translated back to English:
Mine wouldn' General control 1 day of the T.

A seemingly nice translator

A while ago, I started reading There's Something About Translation, a good blog about the translating business and process. Since Sarah's writing seemed friendly, I decided to email her to ask her for advice, and amazingly, not only did she respond, but her responses were quite extensive and detailed!

So because she was so helpful, I'd like to say that she seems like a nice person. I use the word "seem" because I've never met her, and probably won't because she lives in Australia (though I'd like to go there sometime). But in spite of being busy and not knowing me, she really was very considerate and I really appreciate it!

The guy who didn't believe me

Now that I don't have as much time to do language stuff as before, for some reason it reminded me of a holiday gathering that I was at, talking to a coworker about my various interests. I told her that I've translated and studied various languages, but now that I've become more busy in radio and have had to work weird hours and put in a lot of effort and energy to make any progress, I can't study as much as before.

When I said that, another coworker nearby snorted and shook his head, as if I was making it up or trying to sound impressive. Because if you think about it, a lot of people aren't language nerds who enjoy studying and translating a bunch of languages, so it might have sounded pretentious to say "I used to speak and translate a number of languages, but now I don't have the time."

But honestly, I meant it, and I wasn't trying to show off. I truly don't have as much time as before for language pursuits, which is unbelievable because the radio industry is drying up and a lot of people are losing their jobs. But that still doesn't diminish my love for language :D

I had to speak bad French

I've translated French, but I haven't had to speak it for years. I think the last time I had a lengthy conversation was when I was traveling in Hungary and got directions from an African medical student, and we ended up talking about traveling and our respective countries.

The other day I had to make a call to France for someone who understood nothing more than "bonjour", and asking me to help was definitely done out of desperation because my spoken French is horrible, but there was no one else around who could attempt communication. The task was simple: call a friend's mom, give her my phone number, and ask her to pass on a message. Once I wrote down my own phone number in French, I got up the nerve to call, and I even managed to sound polite. But I'm sure my friend's mom thought that my French was lame, so I told her that "je parle japonais et anglais" to let her know that I'm not an ignorant American.

But we understood each other, so I truly felt a sense of accomplishment after I hung up the phone. Which makes me miss dealing with other languages even more.

I might not be able to translate anymore

I'm not sure yet, but I think my radio life is becoming so productive that I might not be able to translate anymore.

Right now, I work mainly for one show, but I've also started working for another show on the side. And because I've been posting stuff here and doing other online nerdy stuff, a couple of other radio guys want me to do stuff for their sites. What's weird is that I started this blog because I love language--I had no idea that it might lead to some paid gigs.

I will still continue to teach ESL, which takes up an entire Saturday, so really, Sunday is the only day that will be work-free. Which means that I might have to soon make a decision to not translate, because I don't have much time left, and my days start at 4 AM.

I guess if I made better money doing it, I might think twice, but I'm not so sure at this point.

I'm not going to stop posting here because I love language and always will, but my profile might change, so stay tuned :D

John McEnroe freaking out with French subtitles

I found this when for some reason I wanted to know more about John McEnroe: a collection of his hissy fits with French subtitles and French explanations. I didn't know they cared about him so much :D

Translation problem

Here's my translation crisis: I have to finish French and Japanese translations, but I also have to be at work in the middle of the night for the next week. Which means decreased sleep time and language time. Which means my language abilities might decline.

And today, after waking up in the middle of the night and working all day, I am doing something crazy and driving to Milwaukee for a concert. Which means decreased sleep time.

So it doesn't mean that my non-English language abilities are becoming non-existent, but they're challenged. If language were a commodity, I'd take up a collection :D

Had to resort to Spanish

I've been reading stuff about Pancho Villa, and wanted to know more about Don Luis Terrazas, who was a very rich landowner in Mexico during Villa's time. The English info I found online seemed to talk about his wealthy and powerful life, but not his origins, and I really wanted to know why he was so rich. So I gave in, and did a search in Spanish and found something that will help get me started: Breve Historia de la Ganadería en Chihuahua.

I didn't want to read stuff in Spanish because I'm lazy and don't know all the words, which means I'll have to look them up, but it couldn't be avoided because English just wasn't enough. (I could get an English book, but I'm already reading other books and don't want to add a huge history to my list.)

Sort of related: what's great about the New York Times is that they post old articles that you can read for free: I found one about Luis Terrazas II's release from Pancho Villa's torturous imprisonment and escape to the US. I was going to post the article as a pdf here, but it's copyrighted, and I don't want to get in trouble with them :D

Another product that needs a good translator

It's pretty obvious that there's a translation problem. (source)

Plenty of weirdly translated signs

Read this doc on Scribd: Japanese and Chinese signs

The Multilingual Teen sent me this slideshow of funny English in Asia, which seems to contain images that mostly come from the Engrish site. I hope they don't make me take this down :(

French break

I just had a very packed week, and I still have translating to do. If I had a bunch of Japanese, I'd be worried about the condition of my brain, but I have some French to do, and even though it's not a cake walk, at least it's not as mind-shattering as Japanese. So I consider it a kind of break before I resume the Japanese translating shortly thereafter.

What translating means

I think people don't know the difference between translating and interpreting. When I tell people I've translated languages that I don't speak well, or barely at all, they become puzzled. "How can you translate something that you don't speak?" They're either asking that because they think I mean "interpreting," or they automatically assume that I can speak various languages. So they'll tell other people that I speak X amount of languages, when I really don't. Honestly!

It's weird, because I never say what I've done to boast, but people will give more value to my language skills so that it forces me to deny such talents. Then it sounds like I'm full of false humility, but I'm not. I really can't speak all those languages! I just love to study and translate them!

Again?!

What is up with China and the "f" word? Someone sent me this picture with the same Chinese character that was also translated into the "f" word in the swearing menu. At first I thought it was a photoshop job or a joke, but then I looked at the Chinese character in the swearing menu and this photo, and saw that it was the same. Either there are some really dumb people translating that character, or this is a sick joke.

Weird English from Korea

Someone from Korea gave me a Korean snack cake that resembles the kind I tried in Japan. I don't read Korean, so I have no idea what the name is, though it's made by Haitai. Well, Haitai has to get a proofreader, because their English is quite oddly humorous:

Chocolate Coating Cake
You know that sweet things make smile.
We love to see you smile with your people.
So just taste this cake.

Ok, I will!

Menu mystery partially solved

I showed a Macao-born Cantonese speaker the swearing menu I did a post about recently, and he told me what the Chinese character means that is above the English "f" word: it means "dry."

It's baffling that the person who translated the menu confused "dry" for an English swear word.

Also, the translator had no clue about the context, either: the first item on the menu contains a character that means "river," but the translator didn't know that the character represents an area in Guandong province that produces rice noodles. So people use that character as a kind of shorthand to refer to the noodles even though it means "river."

It's all too obvious that the menu folks have to find someone who knows both languages well.

Resuming Japanese translating

Even though I've been studying Japanese, I haven't translated it in a while. But I'm going to resume translating it, which means my brain is going to hurt because not only is there a ton of kanji and vocabulary that is very different from English, but the thinking is different as well. French is easier to translate because you don't need to understand a very different psychology. But trying to translate the Japanese mindset can be quite challenging. At least I can't be accused of having a mushy mind :D

Swearing menu

Someone sent me this picture of a badly translated Chinese menu. I'm wondering if it's real--the use of the "f" word occurs twice, which is weird. However, it represents the same Chinese character each time, so it could've been truly translated very badly.



(source)

When you don't notice

Sometimes languages blend and I don't even notice. We'd been speaking Japanese in class, and afterwards, I spoke to someone in English about a story we'd read. Then someone else started speaking Japanese with the teacher about a trip they'd taken, and I was asking them questions about it. Then I realized that I hadn't noticed that we were moving between languages. That's when you know you're not delineating languages or words, just going for the meaning instead.

I've had it happen when I've translated as well. I've seen different languages on something, and I'm supposed to translate one language, but since I sometimes understand another language that's printed nearby, I start reading that one instead of the one I'm supposed to translate. Like today: I was reading a warning in Portuguese and was proceeding to translate it, when I realized I was supposed to translate the French. All I know is that I understand the meaning, and that's what matters.

Steamed crap

Once again, there's some weird English in China. I saw a piece in the Sun-Times (which is really an AP story that's appeared throughout the country) about some badly translated menu items:

Trying to make Chinese cuisine and beverages sound more appealing, the Beijing Tourism Bureau has released a list with 2,753 proposed names to replace some menu entries, the official Xinhua News Agency said. Cited are ''virgin chicken'' (a young chicken dish) or ''burnt lion's head'' (Chinese-style pork meatballs). Also lost in translation: ''steamed crap'' (steamed carp).

What's odd and seemingly arrogant is that the government news outfit said, "These translations either scare or embarrass foreign customers and may cause misunderstanding.'' I don't think foreigners would be embarrassed by what they read--it's the people who wrote those translations who should be embarrassed--they didn't even bother to check their terms with a dictionary or anyone who's knowledgeable in English.

For honorific guests

Someone sent me this funny translation. There's not much to say--it speaks for itself. Well, it doesn't make sense, so it really *doesn't* speak for itself, but the humor of it does. People can be such cheapskates--they should've hired a native English speaker to fix it. (source)

Brain overload

I just did a lot of translating of French, and it really challenged my brain. I don't know how people can do such work every day, all day--it's hard to sit in front of the computer staring at text for more than a few hours, yet there are people who are able to translate full time. At one point, I developed a headache from so much analytical thinking, and I felt like my mind was functioning at full capacity, with no room to think about anything else. I'm going to resume translating later this week, and my mind will be happy to have a few days' break.

Awful English

Someone sent me these awful instructions, and you don't have to think too hard to understand why this is a horrible translation. Even the title doesn't make sense: "The hard dish installs the manual." And none of the instructions make sense either, such as: "Single press down the left slippery must use dint in handle in a hand to drag along outside, then square take out the hard dish then."

Huh?

Either the translation was unbelievably horrible, or they had no idea whatsoever how to write correct English.

I like language work...

...but sometimes I get so sick of working at home. Or even if I'm working elsewhere and everything requires working in silence at a computer in a cubicle, it can also make me batty or stir-crazy. But I also don't like work that requires constant human interaction. I'm not totally extroverted, but I'm not totally introverted either. So I don't know what to do.

Yes, this is more of a personal post, but hey, I have to do some language-related venting at times :)

Teaching and translating

Sometimes my teaching and translating work intersect. There have been times when I have translated Japanese, then taught a Japanese person (or group) English. I haven't had that experience with French, which I've been translating most frequently--I've never taught French people English, and actually, I haven't even been to France. But I have been teaching Spanish speakers since the beginning of this year, and lately I've been translating Spanish. So it's sort of cool: I get to read conversational Spanish, and then I can go to the school and hear the students speak it. So the two gigs can reinforce each other.

Note: when I say "translate" I mean the written word, not interpreting, which is for the spoken word. Sometimes people use the word "translate" when they mean "interpret."

Funny menu

Someone sent me a link to a hilarious menu that was weirdly translated from Chinese. There's a lot more than what I'm posting here, so check it out. It will crack you up, even if you like more raunchy humor.

Chinese high

What are they smoking in there? Just straight weed, or are they mixing it with tobacco to create a British-style spliff, or what? I wonder if their pot is spicy.

But seriously: this is a word challenge as well, of course, as a cultural one. "Rolling" can be a verb, thus the humor of this sign. But "rolling" can also be an adjective, which I'm sure means something different in Chinese--bad translation!

Does pre- matter?

I translated a word that would be "pre-wash" in English. As I was typing it out, I wondered if the spelling should be "pre-wash" or "prewash" (one word). When I was learning spelling, usually the prefixes were supposed to be followed by a hyphen. However, it seems like they don't have to be anymore. But I don't know if I want to make it one word because the concept of "before" is emphasized by the hyphen--it's a PRE-wash, not POST-wash (though there really is no such word).

Dead French

I got this photo from Arrogant Polyglot, who speaks and reads and writes French very well, but doesn't seem to be arrogant about it. :)

Interpreting gone?

I think people are not really using the word "interpreting" anymore. It seems that they're using "translating" to mean both interpreting and translating.

For instance, I told some people that I don't speak a certain language well, but I translate it. They kept asking me how I can do it, and I explained that reading it is easier than speaking it. But it still didn't make sense to them, so they kept asking me how and why. Then it dawned on me: they thought I was talking about interpreting but were using the word "translating," so I explained the difference: that I was talking about translating, ie, the written word, not interpreting, ie, the spoken word. They finally understood.

I've also heard the word "translator" when people describe someone's profession--even though they're an interpreter. I've heard this from all types of people and even in the media. It's wrong, but I think it's easier for people to use that word than think too hard about how the words apply.

I know that professional language folks know the difference, but I'm afraid that the word "interpreting" or "interpreter" are no longer going to be used that often, and eventually, I wonder if they'll be used at all.

Not America

A couple of Brazilians are staying with me, and when I've talked about this country (in English), I've said "America" because that's what Japanese people and other Asians and folks from some other countries say. Then it dawned on me: in Portuguese it's "os Estados Unidos" or USA (pronounced "oosa"), not "America" because they're living in America Latina.

What's interesting is that the Brazilian Times calls itself "O jornal dos brasileiros nos Estados Unidos da America"--they've literally translated "United States of America" into "Estados Unidos da America."

Overall, though, avoiding the word "America" with Latin Americans isn't a politically correct decision but an obvious one, since they really are from America--just not the same kind of one Americans are from. Which reminds me that in Spanish, Americans are called "Americanos." Which really confuses the issue, actually, because the land mass "America" is huge, along with the variety of different regions of Americans.

But I'll still call myself an American, and adjust when necessary, depending on which language I'm trying to tackle.

Stuck in French

This is interesting: I've been translating French lately (sorry AP!--it's not technical or complicated), so I've been sort of French-oriented. Nothing big, I'm just eavesdropping on French people's conversations, paying attention to French words that have made it into English, trying to decifer the 19th century artists' words at the Art Institute.

But now I seem to have also made it into the French MySpace zone: yes, I have joined MySpace because my friend Jerry kept talking about it day after day, telling me to go to his page, giving me updates on how many friends he had acquired, who they were, and why they were interesting. And he kept telling me that I have to join, it's so incredible, blah blah. So I caved because he was so excited, I thought he'd die, and I didn't want to see that happen.

So if you want to see it, go to myspace.com/metrolingua. The thing is, I wandered over to the international section and chose "French" because I've been in a French state of mind, and now I see French everywhere, except for what I type because I can't write French.

Because of how I'm plugged in, I've even seen some French begging from the site: "Bienvenue! MySpace France est encore en développement (phase BETA). Tu as des commentaires ou suggestions? Clique ici. Merci :-) !"

It makes me feel special because they could care less about all those English users enough to beg, and I'm not one of the masses. Well, I am, but I'm not like the other dopes on there.

Maybe I should maintain it in a non-English language to avoid the friend requests from weirdos and creeps that MySpace seems to have an abundance of.

French in Spanish

I was reading an article about producing in a language you don't understand, and learned about why there are French words in Spanish:

Mexican Spanish is peppered with bits of French due to France's occupation of Mexico in the mid 1800's when Napoleon III tried to establish a French Empire of Mexico after the Mexican American war of 1846-48.

Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of Mexico's defeat of the French in 1865. But that was plenty of time for numerous French words, especially French words related to food (no surprise there) to be absorbed into the Mexican language. Yet you'll find virtually none in any of the other versions of Spanish.

I didn't know that! That is really cool, though not surprising, since language has been influenced by colonialism, occupation and other cultural/political blendings for, well, as long as perhaps humans have existed.

Look-up compulsion

Sometimes when I'm translating something, I know the meaning of a word, but I feel compelled to look it up anyway. I could just translate the word and move on, since a lot of times just getting the meaning is enough. No brilliant rendering is needed, unless I had to translate an ad campaign in such a way as to have the same impact. In order to be effective, I would have to rack my brain and look up as many synonyms as possible to be effective. That's also true with legal translating--I'd have to be precise. But I've never done that and don't intend to.

But for some reason, I want to see what the synonyms are of certain words, even words such as "however" or "proceed" or "attempt." I think it's a compulsion, and it's also a symptom of language nerdiness. Also, since I don't have a language group to discuss stuff with (like the 19th century French artists had when they hung out in cafes), then looking up words is like having a conversation about what I'm reading. So I'm essentially saying to a dictionary, "what do you think?" and the dictionary or website or whatever is responding.

Such is modern life within our technological reality.

Unnecessary proofreading

Okay, I'm a bit perturbed about a translation I did about the German band Kraftwerk. I was very excited about it last year when it was finally posted at a fan site, but then it was edited by someone whose native language is not English. So now what you see is an abridged version, which has mistakes, which means I have to proofread it. I already spent a lot of time translating the 6000-plus word text from Portuguese, only to see the fruits of my labor chopped down.

The original translation is here, and the original Portuguese text is no longer available online. Pity, because it was well-written and informative (if you could read Portuguese).